My Only Wish
by Creative Dummy
Summary: At a Christmas party, Payson Keeler and Kelly Parker make silent wishes on the same shooting star. The next morning they wake up and realize they've switched bodies. Paystin Nickelly :HOLIDAY-FIC:
1. Christmas Party Fail

Disclaimer: We don't own anything nor do we claim to own anything nor do we want to own anything (lol) related to Make It or Break It. That hot mess belongs to ABC Family. We just like to borrow the characters from time to time. Strictly entertainment and no cash profit (though that's an awesome dream, right?).

Warning: The events of this story take place in an alternate universe therefore some events from the show did not take place while some did. Everything will be explained throughout the story.

A/N: So I (B) took my last-chance SATs last Saturday when suddenly I got this idea. Though I wrote most of it, LCTD did put aside studying for finals to help me plot and brainstorm. It may be OOC (like everything else I write) and you might not like the pairings, but it's all in good fun and the Christmas spirit. I hope everyone enjoys it and has a happy holiday!

* * *

-XX-

**My Only Wish**

**Chapter One**

There's still speculation about whose brilliant idea it was to have a joint Christmas party between The Rock and Denver Elite, but that's what happens. The great debate over where the party should be held rages on for weeks. In the end, being reasonable gentlemen, Sasha and Marty decide to use the flip of a coin to determine who gets to choose. The Rock triumphs and that is exactly where they decide to hold it.

Though the Denver Elitist will complain about how it smells like chalk and dirty socks, the Rock is beautifully decorated like a Christmas wonderland. There's tinsel everywhere, streams of gold and red strung overhead. The windows are sprayed with frost and the tables dusted with fake snow and confetti snowflakes. Christmas music is playing and there's even a fully decorated tree topped with a metal star.

Despite the festive decorations and the mingling adults, when it comes to gymnasts, the atmosphere is tense. The reason for holding this party is to promote good sportsmanship and civility between the two gyms with a reputation for fiction. Instead of getting along in the name of Christmas, it's like there's an imaginary line drawn down the middle of the room separating the Rock gymnasts from the Denver Elite ones. It's segregation at its best.

The one time someone dares to come close to crossing the line is when Nicky Russo goes to get a gingerbread cookie at the desert table just as Kaylie Cruz gets up for a cup of punch. They share an awkward wave that turns into small talk and eventually an actual conversation. As they talk, all eyes from both sides watch intently.

"Who's the guy?" Austin Tucker asks.

Payson Keeler looks up from the cheap, Christmas-themed paper plate in front of her and to her left. Austin, with a sugar cookie in the shape of a tree hanging from his mouth, sits beside her and looks over at the main attraction. Kaylie is in her pretty dress with a sweet smile on her face. Nicky stands in front of her with his hands in his pockets, nervously swaying from side to side. Payson is interested to find no jealousy in Austin's gaze, but curiosity.

"The traitor," Lauren says snidely.

"Nicky Russo," Payson says. She looks at Austin, but he just stares back and tilts his head to one side. "Nicky Russo. He took silver and placed second at Nationals."

Austin still looks confused. "I don't recall…"

Carter chuckles from across the table, sitting beside Lauren. "Wow, Austin. Either that's super arrogant or super oblivious even for you."

"I plead the fifth," Austin says, raising his hand.

"Nicky and Kaylie had a thing before you came here," Lauren announces in that upbeat, seemingly innocent Lauren Tanner way she always does. "We all called it _Kaylicky_."

"Poor guy," Austin and Carter say in unison. The two male gymnasts, who've both been involved with Kaylie Cruz at one point, share a knowing look and start laughing while the girls roll their eyes. Austin leans across the table and the only guys at the table bump fists.

Emily scolds Austin with a bunch to his shoulder and Lauren just encourages Carter with her giggles. As this is going on, Payson can't help, but let her gaze wander across the room and to the tables that are self-proclaimed Denver Elite territory for the night. She sees Kelly Parker with her narrowed eyes on Nicky as he whispers something that makes Kaylie laugh. It seems like the former National Champion isn't pleased one of her Denver Elitists is fraternizing with the enemy.

As someone who considered letting herself get close to Nicky Russo, Payson is definitely surprised by his behavior. Upon arriving, Nicky had walked in with Kelly Parker on his arm, looking like he completely assimilated into the world of Denver Elite. Their eyes had met from across the room and Nicky had given Payson a nod and a smile, which is more than she can say about the other Denver Elitists. Still, he went over to sit on that side of the Rock without a second thought.

Now the one time he acknowledges his former peers since that nod-and-small upon walking in it's with Kaylie Cruz. Payson thinks of that time where the three of them had almost found themselves in that dreaded "love triangle" and when Kaylie had given up with the boy for her best friend. It's little things like that that remind Payson that they're all in a good place right now and to leave the past in the past.

While Kelly continues to stare at the reunited _Kaylicky_, the other DE gymnasts seem to have lost interest. When Payson's eyes scan over the others at the table, she notices that they're staring at her. The way their lips quirk in scandalous smiles and the way they whisper to each other, trying to be discrete but achieving the opposite, makes Payson's blood run cold.

It had been mortifying enough to have all her fellow Rock gymnasts buzzing about her little kiss with Sasha. Now to have the Denver Elite gymnasts who are infamous for being cruel and malicious staring at her and talking about her, _the girl who let her coach molest her_, it makes it hard to breathe and takes away the magic of her Christmas-themed surroundings.

She's never been one to exploit the spotlight. Payson has always been low-key and let her talent speak louder than anything else. Those girls who are currently spreading rumors about her had once been girls that respected her and saw her as a threat. Payson can't help, but feel she's lost all of that.

"Payson, are you okay?" Emily asks. "You look a little pale."

Payson blinks her eyes and looks at all the concerned faces that surround her (minus Lauren and Carter who are too busy trading flirty looks). She can't even manage a fake smile to assure them that she's okay. Somehow it had gotten at least twenty degrees hotter and now she can still feel everyone's eyes burning into her whether they have honest intentions or not.

"Yeah," Payson says weakly. "I think I just need some air. Excuse me."

Pushing her seat back and straightening the material of her dress, Payson walks towards the exit. She really does hope the cool air would do her some good. Putting on the most convincing smile she can manage at the moment, Payson acknowledged a few people, including her mom who was running the reception table, as she walks outside. When no one chases after her, she knows she's in the clear.

It could have possibly been a better idea to grab her coat before she went outside because it's freezing. Payson exhales normally and she can easily see her breath in front of her face. It's something that's always enchanted her as a child. As she walks out in front of the Rock, Payson rubs her hands down her bare arms as she looks up at the clear sky and the twinkling stars.

Payson really doesn't know why she lets other people get to her so easily these days. Before the surgery, before falling at Nationals, she had been a solid, confident gymnast. She never worried about the psychological warfare that came along with the sport. She never cared much for what her competitors thought of her. Then again, back then, she had had a squeaky clean record, managed to stay out of the limelight and had been a power gymnast as oppose to a artistic one like she is now.

Staring up at the sky, Payson feels a thrill when she sees a shooting star skirt across the black backdrop. It may be foolish or childish, but Payson holds her breath and makes a wish.

-XX-

Kelly Parker thinks this entire thing is fucking stupid.

Here she is, sitting in an _Armani_ dress, paired with _Charlotte Olympia _shoes, a _Christian Louboutin_ clutch and jewelry from _Tiffany's_. It's a carefully pieced together and not to mention frickin' cute outfit and it's all wasted on a particularly dull evening in Boulder.

For one, she can't eat half the crap they're dishing out (uh, hello, she's a gymnast). They couldn't even get a hotel ballroom or maybe a community hall to hold it at? Apparently not. Instead, they just set up tables around their gym and put a lot of ninety-nine cent store decorations everywhere, hoping no one would notice. Um, they did. Can you say _tacky_?

Kelly had been against attending from the very start, but halfway through and the Denver Elitists had tried to make their own fun like they often do. The whole evening went downhill once the Denver boys got caught before they could spike the punch. Now that perky blonde woman (who is _so_ on uppers), who probably can't tell a back handspring from a back tuck is trying to get them to sing carols.

"Shoot me in the head _now_," Kelly says.

"Gladly," says a girl from across the table.

Kelly narrows her eyes at the curly haired brunette. Stephanie Erikson.

Stephanie is just one of the many people who saw Kelly's failure to protect her National Champion title as a way to worm her way up to Kelly's coveted title of HBICDOE (Head Bitch in Charge of Denver Elite). The girl really is delusional if she thinks Kelly will ever give up that pedestal. Over her dead body maybe.

"Hey look. Finally something interesting is happening," says one of the male Denver Elite gymnasts. Kelly glances over at Joseph picking his teeth with a toothpick. What a pig. "Russo is putting the moves on our National Champ."

Kelly's hazel eyes instantly fly over to the table of food where Nicky is indeed standing with Kaylie Cruz, just on the invisible dividing line of the party. Just the sight of them getting along, being almost friendly (God forbid _flirty_) leaves a bitter taste in Kelly's mouth. Kaylie Cruz already stole Kelly's title and now she wants her best friend too? Some girls are just that zealous.

"Hmm," Stephanie purrs. "Wow, Parker, it looks like you can't hold on to anything…"

Kelly presses her lips tightly together and grits her teeth. She definitely didn't get all dressed up to sit here and be humiliated in front of people that should fear her. Stephanie gets some sick pleasure out of pointing out how Kelly has completely lost control and Nicky is giving her ammunition all because he can't put his pathetic, undying crush on Kaylie Cruz aside for the night. He's making her look bad and she doesn't enjoy that. Having had enough, Kelly is sure to grab her clutch before she shoves her seat back and stands up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Joseph asks lazily.

"There are no stumbling drunks to talk shit about therefore I'm bored. Of course only you idiots could mess up pouring some vodka into the punch bowl," she replies. "I'm leaving before I end up kicking someone's ass just to liven up this funeral."

"Aww, but you'll miss the raffle," he says with a smirk.

"Boo hoo," Kelly says, sounding sarcastic and irritable. "I'm out of here."

"Wait! Yo Parker! Didn't you drive here with Nicky?" Joseph shouts after her.

Already with her back turned and walking away, Kelly mutters, "For all I care, he can catch a ride with Kaylie Cruz among other things..."

As Kelly waits impatiently at the coat check-in, her eyes wander to where Emily Kmetko is talking with her mother and a boy in a wheelchair. It almost makes Kelly laugh, remembering how Emily Kmetko was supposed to be the Rock's secret weapon when the girl barely placed at Nationals. The more Kelly stares the more she sees how happy the three look, talking and trading smiles. It actually looks like they enjoy each other's company. If only the same thing could be said for her fragmented, emotionally retarded family.

Once Kelly gets her coat, she slides her arms through the sleeves and walks out. There she sees Payson Keeler. Kelly's first instinct is to go over and mess with Payson's head just for fun. It will definitely be the highlight of this lame night, maybe bring up how her supposed best friend is inside and moving in on the boy that was almost Payson's (and always has been Kelly's). Or she could mention how idiotic Keeler is, standing there, in the cold, staring dumbly.

As Kelly walks further out, she can't help, but follow Payson's line of sight to find out what has the fallen gymnast so entranced. That's when Kelly sees the shooting star and it reminds her of Nicky. Ever since they were kids, he's always bugging her about making wishes on stupid things like detached eyelashes and when the clock strikes 11:11.

It may be stupid, but right before the star disappears, Kelly murmurs her wish beneath her breath.

-XX-

Maybe things would have been different if the girls had known that at Christmastime, the possibility of the impossible is heightened and a shooting star in December can be a gift and a curse. Both Kelly Parker and Payson Keeler really should be careful what they wish for.

* * *

A/N: You know, reviews are like Christmas wishes. Feel free to leave one.

xoxo


	2. The Morning After

A/N: Yeah, I totally meant to post this under Creatively Licensed B, but I didn't look at what account I was logged into and I was too lazy to fix it. :P Thanks for all the great reviews, everyone. I really appreciate it.

* * *

-XX-

**My Only Wish  
**

**Chapter Two**

As logical as it might have seemed to hold the party on Sunday, the gymnasts' day off, as to preserve the diminishing training time in the days leading up to Christmas, in the grand scheme of things, it might not have been the best idea.

Payson hears the alarm buzzing and it's so loud, it startles her awake. Her eyes snap open and she almost jumps up in bed, she's that taken by surprise. For some reason, as Payson stares straight up, she feels like her ceiling is a lot higher up than it usually is. The alarm suddenly stops without her moving a muscle and there's movement to her left, the ruffling of sheets and a rough, masculine voice sighing deeply.

"Parks, you awake?"

Payson's eyes widen when she realize that voice belongs to Nicky Russo. Even more alarming is when she feels his icy hand against her ribcage, slowly crawling across her flat stomach, ending shivers outward from his touch and throughout her entire body. She almost yelps when she realizes that she's completely naked beneath the sheets.

"Oh my god…"

Payson pauses. Her voice. It doesn't sound like her. It's much higher, almost to the point of being shrill.

Yanking the bed sheets to protectively cover her chest, Payson pushes Nicky's hand away from her and scoots to the opposite end of the bed. She turns and sees him lying on his chest with his cheek pressed to the pillow, looking right at her. His brown eyes are half-lidded with remnants of sleep and his dark hair looks flatter than it usually does but is as messy as always. Payson also takes the time to notice that he's shirtless and probably wearing less underneath.

Did she sleep with Nicky last night? Why can't she remember? What is going on?

Interrupting her thoughts is Nicky's lazy laugh. "Almost forgot. Kelly Parker doesn't _do _cuddling."

Kelly Parker. Nicky just called her _Kelly Parker. _

Payson takes a look around the room and she realizes it isn't hers. She hasn't seen this room ever in her entire life. The walls are painted a Tiffany blue and all the furniture looks hip and modern. Payson is immediately filled with a unsettling feeling when she sees the pictures on the nightstand are of Kelly Parker and various people she's never seen before…and Nicky.

Payson's eyes then move down to her hands that seem smaller, tanner and with French tips on her fingernails. She runs her fingers through her hair that's shorter and not to mention brown. Payson's heart starts to speed up and her mind is racing. She wants to say something, but the thought of Kelly Parker's voice coming out of her mouth is too frightening.

Nicky groans and his eyes flutter shut. "I think I hit the snooze button one too many times. We have a good fifteen minutes to get to DE. The last thing I want right now is another awkward talking-to from Marty."

Payson looks over and sees Nicky stumbling out of bed. He's only wearing a pair of snug black boxers, revealing his perfect abs and his hairless chest. Payson feels her face suddenly grow hot when she catches herself staring as Nicky steps into his jeans on the floor and pulls them up to his waist. He looks over at her and Payson stares back at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

"So do you want to ride with me or are we taking separate cars?" Nicky asks. He picks up his t-shirt from the floor and smoothes it down his chest. He looks at her expectantly and Payson just dumbly nods. Nicky's brows narrow and his forehead crinkles. "Okay…well, I'll be waiting in the driveway. If you aren't down in five then I'm leaving without you."

Nicky gives her a playful smile before he walks out the door. Payson waits until she hears his footsteps disappear down the stairs and then she scurries off the bed, bringing the sheets with her. She goes right over to the vanity across the gigantic bedroom and looks right in the mirror. She gasps when she sees Kelly Parker's reflection staring back at her.

It's the oddest thing. Still holding the sheets tight against her petite body, Payson waves her free hand and watches as Kelly Parker's reflection mirrors her movement. She flexes her jaw and purses her lips. When she tugs on the brown strands of hair, she feels the pressure at the roots. This isn't right at all.

Payson doesn't understand any of this. The last thing she remembers is going to sleep in her bed _alone_ and now here she is waking up with Nicky Russo in a foreign place and looking like Kelly Parker's doppelganger. Payson feels so exposed and uncomfortable in her skin. She's trying to make sense of this, but there doesn't seem to be any logical explanation for it.

First things first, it probably isn't helping any that she's naked. Seeing the closet at the far end of the room, Payson goes to it, almost gets lost in it (she's convinced the walk-in is the size of a small apartment) and she quickly pulls on whatever is in her reach. Fully clothed, Payson goes right back to the mirror just to double check, but nothing has changed. It was stupid to expect it would.

"God, you take forever to get ready. You didn't even put your face on yet."

Payson turns and sees Nicky standing in the doorway with an apple. He sinks his teeth into the ripe, red fruit as he looks at her. There's something apprehensive about his expression like he knows there's something wrong and he's trying to work through it in his head. Payson just looks back at the mirror and runs her fingers through the silky brown tresses a couple times, thinking she looks fine.

"I—I figured you'd leave by now," Payson says. Though she expected it, she feels weird when Kelly's voice comes out of her mouth. "I'm guessing it's been more than five minutes…"

"Yeah, sure," Nicky scoffs. "Like I need to give you any more of an excuse to get mad at me. Now come on. We're already late as is. You can put your makeup on in the car."

"Nicky, I don't think I—"

"Did you just call me _Nicky_?" he asks, looking so taken aback.

Payson sits there and bites her tongue. What does Kelly Parker usually call him?

"Are you feeling okay, Parks?" Nicky asks.

"I…no. Not at all," she replies. "I think I'm going to skip practice today…"

Nicky walks right up to her with purpose in his step and presses the back of his hand to her forehead. Payson feels a gasp in her throat. This is the first time they've been this close since…Valentine's Day.

"You don't have a fever," Nicky says. Squinting his eyes, he stares at her face as Payson resists the urge to fidget. "Therefore, I'm obligated to get you to Denver Elite ASAP. You know the Code of Marty, Parks. If you aren't dying then you're training."

Nicky walks back over to the door and Payson heaves a heavy sigh. She has a feeling that Nicky won't leave her alone until she agrees to go with him and she can't exactly sort through any of this with him hovering over her. Standing reluctantly, Payson starts to follow him to the door, dragging her feet the entire way. Usually she can't wait to get into the gym, but special circumstances call for careful decisions.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" he asks.

Payson blinks. "Am I?"

"Your gym bag. Seriously, Kelly, where's your head today?" Nicky scolds her. He looks annoyed for a split second before his lips curve into a smile. "Must be lost in all this sex hair."

Nicky starts ruffling her dark hair, making it even messier than it already is. Payson loses herself in the moment. She laughs and tries to push him away, letting her hand rest on his firm chest. Nicky then steps back into the room and grabs the royal blue duffel from off the ground. Payson nervously stands in place until she sees the nametag hooked to the black strap that says Kelly Parker on it in big bold letters. She then inwardly sighs before she heads out the door.

Before she makes it far, Payson feels Nicky's hand wrap around her wrist to stop her in place. Gulping hard, Payson pauses and looks back over at him. Nicky gives her half a smile and motions to the half-eaten apple in his hand.

"Want a bite?" he asks.

"No thank you," she replies.

There he goes with the confused look again. "Why do you sound so _nice_?"

In return, Payson wonders why he's hanging out and apparently sleeping with a bitch.

"You need to eat something," Nicky insists.

Payson just sighs. This must be why he's so good at gymnastics. He's so persistent.

When Nicky moves the apple closer to her mouth, Payson just takes a bite, knowing he isn't going to give in any time soon. Her teeth sink into the apple and it's then that she knows it isn't a dream. She tastes the sweetness of it and feels the pieces move down her throat as she swallows. No dream can be that vivid.

Some of the juice from the apple runs down from the corner of her mouth, but before Payson can get it, Nicky brings his thumb to her chin and brushes it away. She looks up at his face as he stands over her. He doesn't look annoyed or shy or enslaved. He's actually smiling.

It's the way he's smiling, so amused and maybe even loving, that really gets to Payson. It makes her feel even more uncomfortable to know that he thinks he's looking at Kelly Parker.

-XX-

Kelly Parker groans as she stretches her arms out over her head, lying in bed. She lets her hands fall out to her sides and when she finds the spaces around her empty, Kelly groans again and shuts her eyes even tighter. Of course, she's alone in bed. It's routine for Nicky to bail after they hook-up. Kelly always tells herself that he isn't going to be there when she wakes up yet she's always disappointed when it turns out to be true. That's become routine too.

She hears a door creak open and warns herself not to get her hopes up.

"Payson, mom says it's time to wake up…"

The voice sounds so small. Also it's a voice Kelly has never heard before.

Groaning, she sits up and looks to where the door should be. Instead, she sees an old wooden dresser. It seems her room has shrunk over the night and has become a lot more cluttered than it should be. The walls are a cream color and the drapes are floral. There's a shelf lined with trophies, ribbons and medals. The one indication that Kelly is living her worst nightmare is how many pictures of the Rock girls are posted everywhere. Barf.

When Kelly turns to the actual door, she sees a young blonde girl who must be in her early teens. She looks at Kelly with a sour look and her immediate gut reaction is for her brows to furrow and her eyes to narrow in the deadliest glare she can manage.

"Who the hell are you?" Kelly demands. "And what are you doing in my house?"

The girl tilts her head in confusion. "Payson, what are you talking about?"

Payson. That name cannot be common. She must mean Payson as in Payson Keeler. The one and only. Come to think of it, there's a slight resemblance between the young girl in front of her and Keeler. Oh God, a mini-Keeler clone. This nightmare just keeps getting worse and worse.

"Okay, why do you keep calling me Payson?" Kelly asks.

Then she pauses a moment. Her voice sounds different. It's lower and Keeler-like.

"What the fuck is going on?" Kelly practically screams.

"Payson, if mom hears you talking like that—"

"Stop calling me that!" Now Kelly is actually shouting.

She looks down at her hands and sees how her fingers are longer, her nails lack their usual polish and are too short. Not to mention her skin tone is about five shades lighter than it was when she slept last night. Kelly can feel her heart start to speed up and she suddenly feels a little ill.

All Kelly remembers is driving home from that stupid Christmas party at the Rock, changing into sweats and getting ready for bed. She recalls arguing with Nicky via text. He was pissed that she left him there and she assured him that she didn't give a shit. Then he showed up at her front door to continue the fight face-to-face. It started with screaming and shoving and somehow turned into rough kisses and clothes being peeled off. One thing lead to another like it often does when she's with Nicky. Kelly Parker is known for her grudge-holding abilities, but not when it comes to a certain android gymnast.

Then she wakes up here, not with Nicky, but with _this girl_.

A look of panic strikes Kelly's face as she desperately searches the room for a mirror. She crawls out of bed, drowning in a t-shirt that's too big for her and cotton pajama bottoms. There's a full-length mirror hanging near the door and Kelly's heart nearly stops when she's standing there and staring at her reflection or, rather, Payson's reflection.

Threading her fingers through the unfamiliar blonde locks, Kelly screams so loud that the whole house, if not the entire neighborhood surely hears it.

"Oh My God! I'm PALE!" Kelly shouts. She stands so close to the mirror that her nose nearly touches the reflective surface. Running her fingertips down her cheeks, Kelly feels the soft, cold flesh and knows everything is too real to be a dream. "Even worse, I'm BLONDE!"

"Payson, you've always been—"

Kelly turns and glowers at the girl. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that!"

The young girl frightfully backs away, but Kelly is too busy freaking out to really pay attention. It isn't like she'd care anyways. It wouldn't be the first time she's made a girl cry.

"What is going on here?"

Just what they needed. The motherly voice intervenes just like in the sitcoms.

"Mom! I think Payson is going crazy."

"Becca, what are you talking about?"

Looking terrified, Kelly turns back to the door and sees Kim Keeler standing there. Kelly has seen Kim around a number of times, usually at the Rock and especially competitions. She's always there to cheer on Payson. She's always the last one to wish Payson luck before she competes and the first one to congratulate her afterwards. Kim has such a concerned, motherly look on her face and Kelly finds it absolutely terrifying.

"I—I'm not Payson!" she shouts.

Kim gives her a small, amused smile. "Oh really? Who do you suppose you are?"

"Kelly Parker!" she shouts, stomping her foot for emphasis.

That's when Kim and the girl – Becca – both burst out in laughter.

Kelly scowls and narrows her eyes in her best glare. There are many things in life that Kelly absolutely hates and being laughed at is definitely towards the top, right between losing and hipsters.

"What is wrong with you people?" Kelly yells. She's always been the type of person who gets frustrated easily and doesn't know what to do with that coiling, tear-producing feeling. Usually she turns that into energy for gymnastics, but standing there, she has no idea what to do. "I don't know what I'm doing here and frankly, I don't want to be here. I should be in Denver! In my giant house! I don't know what's going on and your laughter, um, not helping!"

"Aw, Payson," Kim laughs to the point of tears. "That's hilarious. Come on, Becca, you can help me with breakfast while your secret comedian sister gets ready. We have a long day at the Rock ahead of us."

Becca laughs. "You totally had me there, Payson."

"I'm not Payson!" Kelly shouts as a last desperate attempt.

Kim just laughs again before she ushers Becca out the door and they disappear from sight. Frustrated and distressed, Kelly walks over and slams the door shut. She then leans back against it and slides down until she's sitting on the floor. Kelly takes supposedly cleaning breaths like the therapist taught her that one time. When that doesn't work, she starts chewing on her fingernails, a bad habit she hasn't done since she was a little girl.

For reasons unknown to her, Kelly woke up looking like Payson or, rather, in Payson Keeler's body and living her life this morning. She's never been the type of girl who believes in magic or fairy tales or Freaky Friday-esque out of body experiences, but apparently she's living one. Hugging her knees to her chest, Kelly doesn't know what to do.

"Payson!" she hears Kim's voice through the door. "Hurry up, slowpoke!"

Kelly's face twists in distaste. Who the hell talks like that?

In all honestly, Kelly's main area of concern is the fact that she doesn't know what to do or how to act around these people. If Kelly herself doesn't know how to act in front of them then how is she supposed to be Payson in front of them? Kelly hasn't even seen her mom since she was twelve and her parents got divorced. She nearly traumatized Becca five minutes ago. Kelly Parker doesn't sit and eat breakfast with people. This is clearly out of her comfort zone.

All she wants to do is try to wake up from this nightmare.

"Payson! I mean it!" Kim calls again. "Get a move on it!"

Then again, Kelly debates in her head, if she doesn't leave the room then she won't have a chance to figure out what's going on.

Getting to her feet, Kelly goes over to the closet and cringes at the things she sees. She pushes hangers from one side of the closet to the other, nixing each outfit. It's a good thing she's only going to the Rock and not walking a red carpet. Everything in there is so _Keeler_ and not Kelly's style at all.

After finding something decent, Kelly struggles to change into it seeing as she keeps her eyes shut tight the entire time. She then looks through every drawer for makeup and all she finds is some basic pencil eyeliner and eyeshadow. Kelly makes a mental note to do Keeler a favor and take a trip to Sephora. Grabbing the gym bag on the dresser, Kelly emerges from the bedroom and walks down the stairs to the kitchen.

The entire house is so homey. It's half the size of Kelly's own house, but a lot more personal with family photos framed and decorating the walls. It's something Kelly would imagine her grandmother's house to look like if her grandmother was an actual grandmother and not a woman who makes her call her "Tish", is obsessed with Carnival cruises and tosses Kelly a crisp fifty instead of baking cookies.

There are egg whites waiting on the kitchen table where Becca is already eating. There's a man sitting at the head of the kitchen table, reading the morning paper as Kim rushes from place to place. They're talking casually about an Aunt Martha and they all share a laugh that Kelly feels on the outside of. She sits at the table and pokes at the egg whites with a fork. She wonders if this is as awkward for everyone else as it is for her.

"Someone's quiet," says the man who she assumes is Mr. Keeler. Kelly looks up from her plate and the man looks at her with a kind smile. Kelly doesn't know what to say. Usually when she's with her father and he's reading the newspaper, it acts as a shield and he's lost in his own world of sports highlights and the latest political scandal. When she's with her father, she usually feels just as alone as if he wasn't even there.

"Someone had an interesting morning," Kim teases. "Tell him, Pay. Tell your dad about your little Kelly Parker impersonation."

Becca giggles. "It's really good."

"Oh?" Mr. Keeler says, raising his dark brows.

"I—it was in the moment," Kelly stutters. The last thing she wants to do is have them laugh at her again like they did earlier. Kelly sets down her fork and clears her throat. "Well, I don't want to be late. Have you guys seen my car keys?"

"To your imaginary car parked in the driveway?" Becca giggles.

"What are you talking about, Pay? You know your dad has his truck and I have my car," Kim explains, eyeing her daughter, who isn't her daughter at all. "Just let your sister finish breakfast and then we'll go to the Rock, the three of us, like we do every morning."

Kelly groans. That's going to make things harder to investigate for sure.

"Anyways, I say it's about time we go out and get a tree and start the Keeler Christmas Traditions," Mr. Keeler says. Becca starts cheering in her seat while Kelly inwardly fumes about Payson's lack of independent transportation. "I'll have the Christmas ornaments down from the attic by the time you girls get home tonight and then you can decorate the house while I watch the game. And you better believe I expect both of you decked out in Viking gear from head to toe."

As Kim playfully complains about her husband's unhealthy love of his hometown football team and they start to bicker as she and Becca look on, Kelly can't help, but be stunned.

So this is what an actual family is supposed to be like.

Kelly doesn't exactly feel comfortable, but she doesn't hate it either.

* * *

A/N: You know, every time you review, a reindeer learns to fly. Please do so. If not for me then for Rudolph's bloodline!

xoxo


	3. Go Hard or Go Home

A/N: The reindeer asked me to send their love to you! They're all up and flying, ready for Christmas and you're to thank. I really do appreciate all the feedback. I'm glad you're all enjoying it.

* * *

-XX-

**My Only Wish**

**Chapter Three **

Riding in the car with Nicky is awkward to say the least. He isn't very talkative and Payson assumes that's because Kelly does most of the talking. They opt to take her car because he didn't put his snow chains on last night before he came over and Denver got fresh powder throughout the night. Payson agrees, but insists he drives since she has no clue how to get to Denver Elite from here. Nicky calls her lazy and Payson narrows her eyes convinced it's a somewhat Kelly Parker-like reaction and Nicky even looks somewhat convinced.

As they drive through the streets that have children playing out in the snow-covered driveways, Payson tries her best to ignore the uneasy silence. She keeps her mind busy, commits every turn, street sign and landmark to memory so she'll know how to get back to Kelly's house when need be.

It doesn't take long before they pull in front of the ominous Denver Elite that stands there like an ivory tower with a gigantic patronizing sign, the letters all large and bold. Nicky parks in the spot that's reserved for Parker and he shuts off the engine. He pulls the key out of the ignition and holds it out to her. When Payson goes to grab the keys, Nicky playfully pulls it up and out of her grasp.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on now?" he asks. "What's with the deer in headlights expression and you not talking my ear off like you usually do?"

"Nothing," she says. "Can I have my keys now?"

Payson tries to sound impatient, but it comes out whiny if anything. Perfect.

Nicky sighs and still refuses to give her the keys. "Is this about me talking to Kaylie at the Christmas party last night? I already told you that it was just mind-numbing small talk. I thought I made up for it with last night."

Oh God. Nicky's a slut. Payson never thought he was the type to use sex to get his way. He's like one of those doctors on that TV her mom is always watching. Payson's starting to think she never really knew Nicky Russo at all.

"I'm fine," Payson says tightly.

She quickly reaches up to snatch the keys out of his hand and she's surprised when he lets her. With her gym bag slung across her chest, Payson takes a deep breath, gets out of the car and walks into Denver Elite. She quickly goes to the locker room and curses when she doesn't know the code for the lock on the door. Luckily, there's an extra leotard in her gym bag and Payson quickly changes into that.

"Hey Parker! Parker, wait up!" a voice calls out to her. Payson keeps walking until she feels a hand on her shoulder and it nearly makes her jump free from her skin. Oh if only that were possible.

Payson looks up to see a lean boy with the most amazing bright blue eyes looking down at her. He has a nice smile that shows off every one of his pearly teeth and hair so short that it's barely there, but every cut is clean and even. He's dressed to train with the addition of a thin gold chain hanging around his neck and a diamond earring hanging on his left earlobe.

"Parker, you missed it last night!" he shouts excitedly. "We might have messed up spiking the punch, but we did sacrifice one of our pot brownies to, as you say, liven up that funeral. That annoyingly perky blonde Rock woman from last night? Totally stoned. Knocked over that tree. Freaked out, all sweaty and kinda hot, waving her hands in front of her face and asking about Inception."

So that's why Summer seemed more out-of-it than usual. She should have guessed Denver had something to do with it.

"That's horrible," Payson says.

"I know, right?" the boy chuckles. "It was awesome. You would have been proud."

Payson frowns. Is Kelly Parker really as awful as she seems?

"Hey Parker, why isn't your hair up in its usual buns things?"

Payson brings her hand up to smooth down the brown tresses. She at least brushed it while she was in the locker room and luckily she found a hair-tie in the pocket of Kelly's gym bag. She just thought she'd put her hair up in a ponytail and get to work. How could she have forgotten about those ridiculous devil horns…err…buns?

"I, um, wasn't feeling it today," Payson replies. She really has no idea how to even begin to get all of this hair up into those two little buns atop her head. She lifts her hand and motions to the elastic band around her wrist. "A ponytail will work fine."

"Changing it up. Nice." The boy grins.

"Joseph." A familiar voice catches both of their attentions.

Payson looks over and her breath catches in her throat when she sees Marty walking towards them. He looks exactly the same as he always has, dark hair cut short and his skin it's typical tan. Payson hasn't talked much or even been around Marty since he abandoned them to come work here at Denver Elite. The boy beside her, Joseph, automatically regards him with a big smile.

"Sup coach," Joseph says. "That was some party last night, wasn't it?"

"No comment," Marty says, looking down at his clipboard. "Joseph, why do I have to remind you to take off the jewelry _everyday_? Has it honestly not sunk in yet?"

"Coach, jewelry, really?" he furrows his brows. "I'd rather you call it _bling_."

"Joseph…"

"Uh-oh," the boy says, giving Payson a wink. "He called me _Joseph_. What am I getting blamed for now?"

Payson does not understand why everyone gets so weird about being called by his names. It must be a Denver Elitist thing.

Marty just clears his throat. "As I was saying, Joseph, for today I've got you doing isolation rotator training then working on your transverse, sagittal and frontal planes. That should help in stabilizing your shoulders. You know your limits, kid. You fully dislocate your shoulder and you can kiss your career goodbye."

Joseph scoffs. "Really supportive, Marty."

"Hey. You know it's the truth," Marty says. "You know the statistics. Less than 1% of young children who begin gymnastics training make it to the Olympics. When did you start? When you were seven? Wanting it isn't enough, Joey. You need to know your body, know your limits and if you aren't up to it, tell me now so you can go enjoy your _brownies_ elsewhere."

"They weren't _my_—"

"And you think you're going to prove me wrong?" Marty ask.

"Yeah. Yeah I am," he replies. With a grudging expression, Joseph stands a little taller and stomps off across the gym, removing the gold chain from his neck as he does so.

"You played him," Payson says, looking over at Marty, her once-idol.

"Well, not everyone is as mentally strong and independent as you, Kelly," Marty explains. "For some people like Joseph, they can't push themselves to be the best so they need someone else to give them that extra shove. Now, I don't want to hear any lip from you today, Parker. Start working. With Christmas coming up, we need to take advantage of all the practice we can get. I'll be making rounds. When I get to you I want your Full-In and Full-Out perfected separately before you even attempt a Full-In Full-Out."

That's what Kelly's been working on? Damn.

That's when Payson remembers that Kelly is a power gymnast where every move is executed with strength and precision, focusing less on grace and artistry. Payson feels a little thrill at the prospects of getting to go full out again. Pulling her hair put into a tight ponytail, Payson heads over to the trampoline. She jumps up and down, over and over, getting a feel for the way Kelly's body moves. Payson has to adjust her movements and calculations to Kelly's height and weight distribution, but soon she gets a feel for it.

Payson trains like she would before the accident and before puberty caught up to her and her body went through so many changes. On the trampoline, she alternates between doing a full and back and full and back, developing an air awareness for the skill. There's no Sasha or her mom to watch and fret. It's just Payson and the trampoline. It feels amazing to be able to do things like that again.

After an entire day of practice, Payson feels tired, but satisfied. She feels so empowered like the gymnast she once was, the girl who was a shoe-in for the title of National Champion. Exhausted and ready to return home (or at least, to Kelly's home for now), Payson is looking forward to finally concentrate on what's going on with her.

Marty tells her that he appreciates how she trained with such control, especially over her mouth (he makes it sound like a joke, but Payson suspects it's true) and Payson smiles genuinely as she walks out. Before she even unlocks the car, Payson gets hit in the face with something cold and taste strongly of strawberry. There's giggling and Payson wipes the back of her hands against her eyes, feeling the cold, thick milkshake drip down into her shirt.

The giggles become full-blown laughter and Payson sees two girls standing in front of her.

Payson feels her anger mounting. "What the hell was that for?"

"Oh, don't look surprised, Parker. You got exactly what you deserved," one of the girls sneers angrily. She's a petite blonde with bags beneath her eyes and a nearly hysterical look on her face. "How could you tell Marty? It wasn't any of your business in the first place! You are such a bitch all the time! Just know that we're done putting up with your bullshit. No one's going to care how great of a gymnast you are, not anymore. Now you're just a rat."

The girl storms off angrily and doesn't even give Payson a chance to reply.

The second girl, looking amused and twisting a lock of her massive, curly brown hair around her finger, just laughs and walks away, more of a cool strut than an angry march like the first girl.

And she thought Kelly was horrible just to the Rock girls. Apparently she's even horrible to her own.

Without any more thought, Payson gets into the car and drives away.

As great as training was, Payson needs to get back in her body and her life _stat_.

-XX-

Driving through the streets of Boulder, Kelly can't help, but glare at everything she sees out the window. Her elbow is resting against the door and she continues to chew on her nails. She doesn't understand why she hasn't woken up from this horrible, horrible nightmare yet. Kelly shuts her eyes and pinches her arm, but every time she reopens them, she sees the dull surroundings that characterize Boulder, Colorado, and she still hears the oldies playing on the radio.

"This music sucks," Kelly says. She reaches towards the radio, but Kim just smacks her hand away and gives her a warning look. Kelly gives her a dark look right back, just daring Kim to touch her again and see what happens.

"Payson, we always listen to Christmas music before Christmas," Becca says. "It's tradition."

"For the love of God, would you quit it?" Kelly says irritably, looking over her shoulder at the blonde girl sitting in the backseat. Becca just stares back with an innocent expression, but Kelly doesn't trust it for a second.

"Wow, someone's grouchy this morning," Kim says exasperatedly. "Is everything okay, Pay?"

"Like you'd believe me if I told you," Kelly scoffs. "Oh wait, I already did."

"Must be all her hormones making her crazy again," Becca says.

Kelly glares. "Or maybe it's the little brat nagging the crap out of me."

"Payson!" Kim scolds. "What has gotten into you?"

Kelly just stares back out the window. She's done trying with these people.

The second they pull up to the Rock, Kelly doesn't even wait for the car to stop before she pulls on the latch of the door and gets out. As she slams the door, Kelly can feel Kim and Becca staring after her. She doesn't know why they make her feel so self-conscious and aware of herself. Kelly says what she thinks and if people can't take that then it isn't her problem. She doesn't know why she feels so bad after what she said in the car.

Whatever. It isn't like she cares about what they think. She doesn't even know them.

Her mind is so scattered and Kelly convinces herself that once she gets in the gym and works out all this frustration and aggression and fear then she'll be ready to tackle this, whatever this is, with at least a clear head. When Kaylie Cruz waves her over, all cheery smiles and pink everything, Kelly just gives her a glare and walks in the opposite direction.

Usually girls hate other girls when they feel threatened by them. Kelly Parker had never felt threatened by Kaylie Cruz. Kelly had been convinced that Kaylie initially attracted so much attention because of her parents' collective fame. It was always more about pedigree than performance. Kaylie had always let her personal life take priority over gymnastics. She had been distracted by all that drama with her boyfriend and Lauren Tanner that she wasn't supposed to be a true contender.

Payson Keeler was a different story. Every time Kelly looked at Payson, she would get this terrifying feeling in her gut because Payson Keeler was the frontrunner of all frontrunners. With the buzz about Payson prior to Nationals and the way Nicky had been so taken with the blonde from Boulder, Kelly had been nervous. Payson could have taken everything from Kelly and it had the potential to be an epic battle.

That's why Kaylie Cruz coming out of nowhere and nabbing that National Champion title took everyone by surprise. The pretty little princess with her fantasy world got the happily ever after and that just goes to show how unfair the world can be. She even almost had Nicky, but then she threw him back, which was a stupid decision, but one Kelly secretly squealed over. Kaylie rejecting Nicky pushed him back to Denver, back to Kelly so in some way the universe managed to balance itself out.

After changing into a leotard, Kelly goes to stretch in an isolated part of the gym. Emily Kmetko, Kaylie Cruz and Lauren Tanner are on the other side of the mats, giving her odd looks. They waved her over, but Kelly just turns up her nose. They're the last people she wants to talk to right now. That's about as much self-control as she can muster right now.

Though she's curious to know what they thought of the Christmas party last night and the Denver takeover, Kelly knows she needs to get centered and she can't do that listening to them bitch about their oh so dramatic lives. Slowly coming to terms with the fact that she's lost her mind completely, Kelly just needs to focus her head on one thing at a time despite the crazy brewing in her head. Right now that one thing is gymnastics, something she kicks ass at.

Kelly Parker is all about setting goals and one of them happens to be perfecting a Full-In Full-Out before Christmas. She feels so close to nailing it. With a little more practice, she's sure she can get it.

As Kelly stands and starts making her way across the gym, Sasha intercepts her. Like everyone else in the Colorado gymnastics community, Kelly has heard the rumors. She's seen the pictures that were way too good and clean to be Photoshop. As he stands in front of her, Kelly looks at him warily. If he even tries to touch her, she's calling pedophile.

"Morning Payson," he says. Kelly doesn't reply. "So what are we working on today?"

"My Full-In Full-Out," Kelly says proudly. It might be an overshot for Keeler to achieve, but Kelly doesn't see herself doing anything else.

Sasha has a horrified look on his face and Kelly gives him one right back. Last she checked Keeler is his prized gymnast, his favorite out of the entire Rock community. She thought he'd be ecstatic she was trying something so ambitious.

"Payson," he says quietly. "Remember what we said about working on being an artistic gymnast? Now what's going on with the floor routine you're working on?"

Kelly's face pales. Did he just say _artistic_ gymnast?

"Eww," Kelly says. She wrinkles her nose at the very idea. All this time, over in Denver, she had been thinking that Keeler pulled some secret, experimental surgery miracle and was somehow going to come out on top. Now she's hearing that Payson has switched her aesthetic? Now that's just sad. Then again, Keeler is the girl who stuck around the gym even wearing a back brace. Someone has reached a new low.

"An artistic gymnast?" Kelly laughs bitterly. "I'm surprised Keeler hasn't slit her wrists yet."

Sasha's forehead wrinkles when he hears her words.

Shit. Kelly really needs to work on filtering.

"Payson, I thought we've all come to terms with what it means for you to continue gymnastics," he says calmly. Kelly is instantly annoyed. She doesn't need someone to coddle her. She needs a coach to push her and call her a loudmouth and tell her to work.

"Thanks for the input, but no thanks," Kelly says. "I'll be doing trampoline work."

Kelly starts to walk away, but Sasha grabs her arm and it doesn't sit well with her. Kelly violently yanks her arm away and narrows her eyes. The look on Sasha's face is one of alarm as he puts his hands up to show that he means her no harm. He looks confused as to why she's acting this way, but that isn't much different from everyone else at the Rock.

"Payson, you've come a long way and the last thing you want to do is undo all that progress," Sasha says. "You've been doing amazing things and you should continue to do so. To jeopardize that now would be wasteful. I know you and you know I'm right."

Kelly shakes her head. "You don't know me. At all."

"Payson…"

"I quit," she says, throwing her hands up and backing away. She must have said it pretty loud because a number of heads turn to look in her direction. "Didn't see that one coming now did you? How well do you know me now, coach?"

Not even waiting for his response, Kelly turns around and walks away. This time he lets her.

This situation is absolutely ridiculous. She's Kelly Fucking Parker. She isn't going to be caught dead out on the mat, trying to be a dancer or ballerina or some form of lesser athlete. That's bullshit. She's a gymnast. Everything is sharp and fast, not slow and graceful. She's going to go at it hard or go home. She has way too much pride to be told what to do especially something that disrespects her skill level. She was the National Champion prior to the Kaylie Cruz Fluke and there's no way she's forgetting that.

After going back into the locker room to pull on a sweater and sweats, Kelly sees Sasha and Kim conspiring. Kelly's first thought was to go steal Kim's keys and take a trip to Denver. If she's stuck in Keeler's body then what happened to her own? That question is eating away at her and if Kelly isn't going to train then she at least needs to finally figure out what's going on.

Seeing the concerned coach and worried mother talking, Kelly makes a beeline for the door. The last thing she needs is for them to double-team her with some psychoanalysis crap. Kelly manages to effectively evade them for the better half of the day. She finds different spots where she can go to sit and try to work things through in her head. She needs to come up with some sort of gameplan, but Keeler's lack of transportation is a problem.

Kelly goes outside, hoping some fresh air will do her good. She paces through the slush on the ground and pays no attention to how the cold is affectively numbing her fingers, her cheeks and the tip of her nose. Coming up empty, Kelly growls irritably and slams her fist into the side of the gym. A shockwave of pain runs from her knuckles and up her arm. Her teeth chatter and she can't stay quiet any longer.

"Son of a bitch!" Kelly shouts, shaking off her hand.

"Hey, Keeler, watch that hand! Those are the money makers!"

Kelly looks over and sees Austin Tucker smirking back at her. He isn't wearing workout clothes, but instead, his heavy, leather jacket and a red scarf around his neck. He starts shuffling closer, dragging his feet through the dirty snow. All Kelly can think when she looks at him is how Nicky complains just as much about Austin Tucker as she does about Kaylie Cruz.

Pressing her back against the gym and staring up at the light fading in the sky, Kelly does her breathing exercises yet again, trying to calm herself down. She feels Austin's curious gaze. God, he's probably going to try to talk to her. This is the last thing she wants. She's been successful at avoiding people Keeler could possibly consider her friends up until now.

"Keeler, don't cry…"

"I'm not going to cry!" she shouts angrily. "I _do not_ cry!"

"Well, you're obviously upset about something," he says. "Is it anything I could help with?"

Suddenly, when Kelly looks over at the male gymnast, there's a gold light outlining Austin in her head. He could be her only chance. At this point, Kelly isn't too picky about who helps her as long as she gets the answers she so desperately craves.

"Do you think you could give me a lift to Denver?" she asks, sounding so much nicer.

"Well, I have a few things to do beforehand, but sure. I don't see why not," he replies. "There's one catch though. I don't have my car. Just my bike."

"Are you retarded?" Kelly snaps. Forget about being nice. "It's snowing for God's sake!"

"Fine. Damn. If you're going to be a baby about it, we can take my bike back to my place and take my car to Denver," Austin says. "It's backtracking, sure, but ask, Keeler, and you shall receive."

She narrows her eyes. "Why are you helping me?"

Austin just shrugs. "I don't like when pretty girls cry."

"Barf," Kelly says. "Does that crap actually work on anyone besides Kaylie Cruz?"

Austin chuckles. "So do you need the ride or not?"

"Yeah," Kelly replies with a newfound fire behind her eyes. "Sounds perfect."

* * *

A/N: I hear if you leave a _review,_ come Christmas morning Zane Holtz will be under your Christmas tree with a red bow on his head. It's just a rumor, but you totally should, you know, review anyways. ;) 12 more days!

xoxo


	4. Who Doesn't Know Freaky Friday?

-XX-

**My Only Wish**

**Chapter Four **

Payson manages cleans all the milkshake off of her, but it looks like the shirt is ruined. The strawberry milkshake had seeped into it and looks like it's stained. It doesn't matter much considering Kelly's closet is like a store in itself. It even rivals the walk-in closets Lauren and Kaylie have at their houses, which is something Payson had thought was impossible till now.

After washing up, Payson takes some time to explore Kelly's gigantic house out of pure curiosity. She peers into rooms and each of them (other than Kelly's, which is frankly, a big sty) looks like something out of a home and lifestyle magazine or pictures in a hotel brochure. Everything is orderly and looks almost unused. The furniture is lavishing and expensive. Payson isn't exactly surprised that Kelly Parker is a spoiled little rich girl. It at least explains a little.

As Payson grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator and stands in the silence, she expects to hear a car pull in the driveway or the sound of the door being unlocked. However, that doesn't happen. Payson can't help, but wonder where the Parkers are exactly. Despite being decorated with such nice, expensive things, the house feels so empty.

It's so quiet that when the doorbell rings, Payson jumps at the sudden sound.

Now who could that possibly be?

Payson goes to the door and answers it. A rush of cold air hits her and Payson shivers. She looks up to find Nicky in a thick black coat, rubbing his hands together. She's about to ask what he's doing here. Then she remembers how they drove to Denver Elite together just this morning. The look on his face tells her that he's thinking about the exact same thing.

"Really, this thing you do where you ditch me is getting old, Parks," he says.

Crap! With all the milkshake drama, Payson totally forgot about how he was her ride.

"I am so sorry, Nicky!" she says immediately. Payson doesn't know if she could ever convey to him how bad she feels. "I completely spaced. I haven't been having the best day and—"

"Did you, Kelly Parker, just say _sorry_ to _me_?" he asks, looking confused with his fingers splayed across his chest. "And you just called me _Nicky_ _again_."

"I—I—"

"Seriously, what game are you trying to play?" Nicky asks, narrowing his eyes at her.

Payson folds her arms over her chest. "No game."

Nicky laughs. "You're Kelly Parker. It's always a game."

Payson doesn't know what to say to that and when Nicky takes a step towards her, she stands her ground like the real Kelly Parker probably would do. Nicky sees this in the way he looks her up and down, probably calculating his next move. He brings his hand up to caress her cheek and takes hold of her chin, gently tilting her face so their eyes meet. His eyes are still narrowed suspiciously as if searching her face for the answers, but Payson is pretty sure he's as empty on his side as she is on hers.

"You know, I heard about the milkshake thing in the parking lot. And I know you've probably already got your entire elaborate revenge plot cooked up in your head, but they're just stupid girls, Kel. You don't have to do anything. Just let it go. You can practice that 'walking away' thing we've been talking about," Nicky says. Their faces are so close then. "I could make you forget…"

His low, sexy voice trails off and Payson closes her eyes and waits to hear him continue, but he doesn't. Suddenly, she feels his lips press hard against hers and it takes her completely by surprise. Payson associates kissing Nicky with California and an almost dream-like atmosphere and a touch that's as light and gentle as the flutter of a butterfly's wings. This, being kissed in the doorway, is fast and hard and almost sinful. When she feels his tongue trace her bottom lip, Payson presses her hands against his chest and shoves him away from her.

It hurts her to see Nicky looking so hurt, but this feels too wrong.

"Y—you need to go," Payson says.

"Kelly—"

"Please go," she says through gritting teeth.

Being the gentleman he is, Nicky respects her request and starts walking backwards and out the front door that's been open this entire time. He's wearing an expression that asks _what is wrong with you?_ But even more heartbreaking, it sort of looks like _what did I do wrong?_

"So I guess you don't want to go pick up the Christmas tree tonight," he says. Nicky isn't standing that far away from her, but he sounds so distant.

Payson firmly shakes her head from side to side. "Maybe some other night."

"Alright. Just text me," Nicky says. "I'll see you later, Parks."

Payson shuts the door after him. Her head is racing. She has no idea what just happened. Her lips are still wet from kissing him and all she can seem to do is stand there and replay the last few minutes in her head. She tries to figure out how she could have handled that better, something she could have said so Nicky wouldn't have looked at her _like that_. Payson has no clue.

Some time later, Payson takes a step away from the door and the bell rings again.

Who could it be now?

Payson opens the door and she comes face to face with herself. There's her face and her blonde hair that's pulled back in a simple low, ponytail. The tip of her nose is red, probably from the cold and she's wearing the sweater her grandmother bought her last Christmas. What's almost unrecognizable is the pissed off look on her face, eyes narrowed and jaw tense.

It's weird to be yelled at by yourself especially when the words are, "Give me back my body, you bitch!"

Making a sound that can only be described as a "war cry", Kelly sprints forward and slams the door shut after her. Then her hands go straight for Payson's neck, obviously trying to strangle her. Payson just backs up, panicked, as her mirror image starts to choke her.

"K—Kelly, STOP! Kelly, you're going to hurt you—yourself!"

With her hands still on her neck, Kelly pauses. "Keeler? Is that you in there?"

"Yeah! Now let go!" Payson shouts, pushing her away.

The two girls stand in the foyer and just stare at each other. Both are seeing the image that they should see when they look in the mirror. Neither can seem to form words as the silence settles in. This moment right here is the definition of out-of-body experience.

"Let me guess," Payson says calmly. "You woke up this morning and you…you weren't you. You looked like me."

"Oh God. It's so much more than just looking like you, Keeler," Kelly says. "I was lying in your bed. In your house. My voice sounds like you. Everyone I meet thinks I'm you. I'm living your freaking life! It's like a freaking nightmare that won't end! What the hell is going on?"

"I have no idea," Payson says. If she weren't so confused and scared, she'd probably be offended; however, the fact that Kelly Parker finds her life unsatisfactory is the least of her worries right now. "The last thing I remember is getting home from that Christmas party and going to sleep."

"Same here," Kelly says.

Payson can't help herself from laughing. "Well, I'd say you did a little more than sleep last night."

Kelly's about to ask her what the fuck she's talking about when the realization hits her.

"You woke up with Nick this morning," Kelly says flatly.

"Ah, so you call him Nick?" Payson asks. "That's why he freaked out every time I called him Nicky."

Kelly groans. "Oh God times two. You're ruining my life, aren't you?"

"It's not like I'm doing it on purpose," Payson says. "I can't imagine practice at the Rock went that much better for you."

"Don't worry. I avoided your little friends. That's the last thing I needed today. They're probably a little overly sensitive about me rejecting them, but I could have easily made things ten times worse if I did talk to them. Rest assured, Keeler, your precious friendships with the teamies will survive." Hearing this, Payson breathes a sigh of relief and Kelly smirks. "So when were you going to tell me you're an artistic gymnast now?"

Payson stiffens.

"Tisk. Tisk. Look at us. Me, the former National Champion, and you, downgraded from my top competition to an _artistic _gymnast," Kelly laughs bitterly. "Oh how the mighty have fallen, haven't we?"

As much as she wants to disagree just to argue with Kelly Parker, Payson really can't.

"How did you get here anyways?" Payson asks.

"Oh, your little friend, Tucker, gave me a lift," Kelly explains. She pats down the top of her head, smoothing down the stray strands. "I have helmet hair, don't I? Or, well, you have helmet hair."

Payson's eyes widen. "You rode her from Boulder on the back of Austin's motorcycle? I bet you didn't even tell my mom you were leaving, did you? Are you trying to get me killed? If the weather doesn't do it then my mom sure will."

Kelly groans. "One, I rode to Austin's house on his motorcycle and then we took his car here. Two, what's with your mom? She's been on my ass all day."

"It's because she's _my mom_. It's what she does. It's what they all do. Did she ask any questions? She must have known right off the bat that I was acting strange," Payson muses. "By the way, you do have parents, don't you?"

"Hmm, that's debatable," Kelly says.

"What's that even supposed to mean?" Payson questions.

"Can we just focus here?" Kelly asks. "How did this happen and how do we reverse it?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Payson says. "Alright. Tell me what you remember from last night and don't leave anything out. Every little thing can be important."

"Keeler, you're sick. Go Google porn. That's what it's for," Kelly says.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it! Wow and you're telling me to focus?" Payson sighs and crosses her arms. Cooperating with Kelly Parker definitely goes down as things she is not fond of. "So there was the Christmas party…"

"Right," Kelly says. "And I left early because it was probably the stupidest waste of time. Plus, Nick was playing nice-nice with Kaylie Cruz. If that didn't kill the festive mood for everyone then I don't know what did. I grabbed my coat and then I left…and I saw you out front looking up at the sky and I was about to tell you how stupid you looked, but then there was that shooting star…"

It's like a light bulb goes off in Payson's head. How could she have forgotten?

"And you made a wish," Payson says tentatively.

Kelly nods. "Yeah, but it was stupid."

"So what did you wish for?" Payson asks eagerly.

Kelly immediately narrows her eyes. "None of your business, Keeler."

"Um, I'm stuck in your body, Kelly. As far as I'm concerned it _is_ my business," Payson says.

Kelly looks away. "What did _you_ wish for?"

Payson sighs. It's not that she wants to do things Kelly Parker's way, but if she doesn't, they'll probably talking in circles all night. "I wanted to be a power gymnast again."

Kelly can't stop herself from laughing out loud. "And you got that wish."

"Your turn," Payson says quickly. "What did you wish for?"

Kelly's eyes tilt downward almost like she can't even bring herself to look Payson in the face any longer. She almost looks…vulnerable. Payson doesn't know what to think of this observation. In this moment, Kelly Parker looks more human than pain in the ass from hell.

"I wanted to know what it was like to have a real family," Kelly confesses.

Payson thinks of this big, empty house and the parents Kelly refuses to address. She then thinks of her own family who are probably home in Boulder and worried sick wondering where she is. It makes sense. As far as typical All-American families go, the Keelers are the perfect candidates.

"And you got your wish," Payson says slowly. "We must have made our wishes at the exact same time and somehow they came true."

"This is crazy," Kelly says. "Do you realize how crazy you sound right now?"

"How else would you explain this?" Payson challenges.

Kelly goes quiet. She really doesn't know how to explain this at all.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Kelly asks. She sounding completely unhinged, borderline helpless. "I can't live your life. I don't know how to be anyone but me and that's probably going to piss off a lot of people in the process."

"Your life isn't a walk through the park either," Payson says. "Do you get milkshakes thrown in your face every day or was today some special occasion?"

Kelly suddenly looks serious. "Who Milkshake Faced you? I never get Milkshake Faced."

"I don't know who she was. Blonde. Short. Gymnast. She didn't look too emotionally stable. She said something about you tattling to Marty on her about something," Payson says.

"Jenna," Kelly says. "Tell me, was there a curly haired bitch-looking girl with her?"

Payson would never think to describe someone as "bitch-looking" ever, but when Kelly says it, an image automatically comes to her mind.

"Yeah," Payson says. "She was watching the entire time. Smiling."

"Stephanie. God, I hate her. I don't care if you believe me or not, but just so you know, I didn't tell Marty shit. Stephanie must have told Marty herself and then told Jenna I was the one who tipped him off. Hmm, sneaky," Kelly says. "Okay. So this is what you do. I'm going to send a text and tomorrow morning you drive by the pet store. Wait at the back door and a guy named Jimmy is going to give you two hundred of his most annoying, ugly crickets. Then in the parking lot, her sister, who hates her just as much as I do, is going to slip you the keys to Stephanie's car—"

"You know, Nicky says you should just walk away," Payson interrupts.

Kelly scowls. "And where's the fun in that? Especially since Stephanie actually deserves it."

Payson shakes her head. "I don't even understand how you two are friends…"

"Eww. Stephanie and I aren't—"

"No," Payson says. "I mean you and Nicky."

"And you want to explain to me how you and Lauren Tanner are friends?" Kelly counters.

Payson doesn't reply. Kelly does have a point.

"Anyways, you've seen _Freaky Friday_ before, haven't you?" Kelly asks. Payson shakes her head. No. "Well, that's unfortunate. My point is that all the movies and things I've seen it looks like our only option is to let the wish run its course, which sucks because I'm an instant gratification kind of girl."

"There must be a book or something that could give us answers," Payson muses.

"It's past six. The Denver Public Library is closed," Kelly says. Payson gives her a weird look. "What? Kelly Parker owns a library card. Real shocker."

"Is there a Borders or Barnes and Noble nearby?"

"Yeah, there's one a few blocks from here," Kelly says.

"Let's go," Payson says. "If we don't figure this thing on tonight then you need to get home before eight or else my mom is going to completely lose it."

Kelly giggles. "What? Is she going to ground me or something?"

"Probably," Payson answers.

"Wait, parents actually do that in real life?" Kelly asks. She looks genuinely curious.

Payson just nods her head and Kelly still looks at her with such wonderment. She doesn't know where Kelly's parents are and something tells her that asking about them is out of the question. Something struck Payson hard when hearing what Kelly wished for. Maybe it's the way she looked when she said it or what it actually is. Despite how Kelly can say horrible things sometimes, moments like that convince Payson she isn't all that evil.

Before they leave, Kelly insists on going up to her room and grabbing a few things to bring back to Boulder incase they don't find a quick fix while roaming the aisle at the bookstore. Payson waits impatiently by the door as Kelly grabs random things and stuffs them into a bag. Kelly then suggests that they hold onto their own cell phones, screen calls and forward important text messages to each other. At least they'll have something that makes them feel a little like themselves. They just need to keep them out of everyone else's sights.

The bookstore is a failed attempt. They look through the spirituality and occult section, even science fiction and the children's Christmas books. Well, actually, Payson searches relentlessly. Kelly looks around for a bit, gets bored, goes with her _Freaky Friday _theory and picks up an issue of _Us Weekly._

The problem Payson finds with the many sources she pulls off the shelves is that these are mostly works of fictions. They don't provide any directions for reversal. Once Payson exhausts her brain and Kelly makes her way through every celebrity gossip magazine on the rack and has given Payson her opinion on each article, they decide to call it a night and drive back to Boulder. They must have lost track of time because it's nearly 10 PM when Kelly's car finally pulls up in front of Payson's house.

"You do know how to drive, right?" Kelly asks sharply.

"For the tenth time, yes," Payson says. "I drove from Denver Elite back to your house and your car is still in one piece. There's your GPS. I think I'll be fine."

"Alright. Crash my car and you're dead, Keeler," Kelly says threateningly. She reaches to unbuckle her seat belt and looks between Payson and the lit house in front of them. "So do you want to go inside and get anything?"

"No. It's fine," Payson says. "Plus, the second you step in there my mom is going to verbally destroy you."

"Joy," Kelly says, leaning back into the leather seat of her car.

"Need I remind you that you did wish for this," Payson says.

"Whatever," she responds.

"Just…be good to them, okay?" Payson says gently.

"I'll try," Kelly says, looking down at her tangled fingers. Her voice is so soft and unlike the Kelly she's used to. In an instant, Kelly's narrowed eyes cut through the dark and find Payson. "And don't you dare have sex with Nick."

Payson looks appalled Kelly would even ask. "Of course I won't."

"I'm serious," Kelly says for emphasis. "Don't even kiss him or flirt with him because, really, Keeler, the fact that it's you doing all of that in my body with him thinking it's me is beyond sick. Don't even tell him about any of this."

Payson nods. "We can't tell anyone."

"Not like they'll believe us," Kelly scoffs. "I already tried with your sister and your mom. They thought I was trying to be funny or having a mental, hormonal breakdown. It was not pretty."

"It's probably best to leave that one alone," Payson says. "And try to be nice to my friends."

"I will try to not engage, but I can't make any promises either," Kelly says.

"No. You're going to be nice or…" Payson puts on her confident, game time expression. "Or I'll cut off all your hair."

Kelly glares. "You wouldn't."

"You want to rest it?" Payson says. It's obviously a bluff, but Kelly eventually relents and agrees.

They share a gaze before Kelly leaves the warmth and safety of her car and goes out into the cold. Payson moves behind the wheel and starts the engine. Standing on the front porch of the Keeler house, Kelly watches Payson drive off with her car and her face and her life. Once she takes a moment to mentally prepare for what's waiting for her inside, Kelly unlocks the front door with her keys and goes inside.

Walking through the house that's entirely too quiet, Kelly sees a pile of boxes with 'Christmas decorations' scrawled on the side in permanent marker. They're yet to be touched. There's a light on in the kitchen and right when Kelly is about to turn right around and head for the stairs, she hears a tight voice call out for Payson.

Kelly's hands curl into fists and she inwardly curses as she walks into the kitchen. There she finds Kim sitting at the kitchen table with her hands cupped around a ceramic mug. Standing there, Kelly purses her lips, trying to quickly piece together some sort of careful explanation or excuse that sounds like an apology, but isn't one. This type of confrontation is so far out of her comfort zone that Kelly has no clue how to handle it.

"Look, before you say anything—"

"Sit," Kim demands. Kelly doesn't like her tone and when she's about to make that known, Kim just looks at her with such disappointment it's overwhelming. Again, she repeats, "Sit."

Kelly doesn't know what comes over her or why she feels so submissive, but she does as she's told. She pulls out the chair across the table and sits down, squirming against the cold seat.

"I'm going to tell you the situation as calmly as I possibly can and then you need to try and help me understand because, frankly, Payson, I can't make sense out of a single thing," Kim says tightly. Kelly holds her breath. "First, you defied Sasha and threw a little temper tantrum, refusing to train."

"It wasn't a—"

"I'm not finished," Kim cuts her off. Her voice rises both in volume and anger. "You spend the rest of the day doing God knows what, avoiding me and your coach and your friends. Then I get word that you disappeared and the last time you were seen you were on the back of Austin Tucker's motorcycle? His motorcycle, Payson! I didn't know Austin Tucker was even on your radar. How did that happen? And now you come home past ten o'clock at night. You haven't called _once_ to check in. What were you thinking?"

"I…I guess I wasn't," Kelly says. In her head, Kelly thinks, _no one usually cares enough to want to know this stuff._

"You're damn right you weren't!" Kim shouts. Catching herself, the woman stops and presses her fingers to her temple. "Alright. Let's hear it. What's going on?"

"I can't tell you," Kelly says. It must be the wrong thing to say because Kim looks enraged.

"I've had to put up with a lot lately, Payson. This whole family has and right now you aren't making any of it easier," Kim says. "I've blamed it on your body changing and the hormones before, but now…now I'm not sure that's a good enough excuse anymore. So what is it? Tell me what's going on. Honey, we tell each other everything."

"Not this," Kelly says, shaking her head. "You couldn't possibly understand what I'm going through right now. You can't possibly get what it's like. I don't feel like me. I feel like a completely different person and everything is so screwed up. Believe me, if I tried to tell you everything, you'd think I was crazy. No. I can't."

"Payson, just tell me," Kim nearly begs.

Shaking her head and fighting the tears, Kelly glares and snaps, "Why do you even care?"

"Because I'm your mother and I love you damn it!" Kim screams.

Instead of fighting and bitching, Kelly Parker sits there in a stunned silence. Kim sighs and tells her to go to bed and they'll talk about a punishment in the morning. Kelly remains in a state of paralysis. She doesn't think she's ever heard someone say that to her before. Not ever.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the continued support of this story! Now I hear that every time you _review_, an elf gets a free rum & egg nog at the bar after work. C'mon. They're working hard for us, the least we could do is get them a little more drunk a little quicker. 10 more days till Christmas!

xoxo


	5. So Weird

-XX-

**My Only Wish**

**Chapter Five**

Punishment.

It's a word Kelly is aware of, but it isn't something she's ever experienced. When she was a child, mommy and daddy never put her in time out when she was bad or anything like that. When she got older (probably the pivotal moments where she could have used some guidance) neither of her parents were every around and they continue to be absent on a regular basis. That's why it's so unnerving being under Kim Keeler's thumb.

After pulling the little stunt the other night, her punishment includes complete and total house arrest. The only time she can leave the house is on family sanctioned outings and going to the Rock. No more hanging out at Kaylie's house after practice (thank God) like the girls do from time to time. The downside is that this so-called punishment will make meeting up with Payson more difficult than it needs to be.

Kelly accepts the punishment (what other choice does she have?) and her submission makes Kim relax a bit and things are slightly less tense between them. The three women of the family get into the car in the morning and drive to the Rock like they apparently do every freaking day. Kelly doesn't complain, at least, not aloud. She just sits and bitches via text to Payson – sadly, her only confidant.

When it comes to being at the Rock, Kelly refuses to train. Kim can yell and scream all the wants, but her dignity is the last thing Kelly has left. She goes straight to the observation room, not even bothering to change into a leotard, drops her bag on the ground and sits there. She watches the other girls and criticizes them in her head, ignoring the way they're all looking at her like she's gone completely mad. In a sense, she really has.

Sasha and Kim take turns, sitting next to her and trying to talk to her. Kelly doesn't say a word. She tunes them out. Sasha doesn't have a chance of convincing her to do shit. After all, Kelly isn't Payson. Kim does have the power to wear her down. Kelly doesn't understand what it is exactly, but Kim Keeler has the ability to get to her, get beyond her iron walls of detachment and that thought alone leaves Kelly uneasy.

The biggest surprise is when Kaylie Cruz approaches her.

The current National Champion walks over and sits next to Kelly with such concern on her face. It looks like Kaylie genuinely cares, but that has no effect on Kelly. Again, something like that would probably make Payson crumble, but not Kelly Parker. As far as Kelly is concerned, she's sitting with a thief.

"Hey Pay," Kaylie says sweetly. "So what's with all the makeup? You'd think it's competition day or maybe an episode of Toddlers in Tiaras."

"What do you want?" Kelly barks, ignoring Kaylie's little opening line.

"Well, I couldn't help but notice how…off you've been lately," Kaylie replies. "Payson, what's going on?"

Kelly laughs humorlessly. "You have no clue how sick I am of that question."

"Well, maybe if you gave us some answers…"

"I don't need to explain myself to you," Kelly snaps. When Kaylie doesn't say anything right away, Kelly bites the inside of her cheek, remembering Payson's threat if she isn't civil to her friends. Kelly sighs and rests her face in her palm. "Don't take it personally. I'm just…I'm not myself right now."

"Oh, we've all noticed," she says lightly. "Is it anything you want to talk about?"

"Not particularly," Kelly replies. "I just need some space."

"Fair enough," Kaylie says. "I get that you're going through something right now, but taking off with Austin Tucker and staying out well into the night without telling anyone, especially your mom, probably isn't the best method of dealing."

Kelly laughs again, sounding just as miserable as the first time. "So this is about Austin Tucker? Relax teamie. I'm not chasing after your sloppy seconds. Though our supposedly tight friendship didn't exactly stop _Kaylicky_, did it?"

Kaylie gives her an are-you-kidding look. "Whoa. Hold on. Kaylicky? Payson, is this about me talking to Nicky at the Christmas party?"

"Did I say it was?" Kelly retorts.

"Okay, first of all, Kaylicky didn't even happen. Like I told you when he left for Denver, I wouldn't do that to you, Pay." Kaylie says. "Two, just so you know, this isn't about Austin. Not at all. I'm so done with him. This is me worrying about my friend. Three, did you just call me _teamie_? What _is_ that?"

Kelly inwardly curses. It's that damn lack of filtering again.

"Thanks for your concern, but you can keep it. I'm fine," Kelly says. She tears her eyes away from the dark-haired girl sitting beside her and gazes out at the girls practicing beyond the thick, glass wall. "Kaylie, shouldn't you be training?"

"Yeah, probably," she says slowly. Kaylie squints her eyes, looking closely at Kelly. It's absolutely grating. "I don't know what's going on with you, Pay, just know that I'm always here for you if or when you need someone to talk to."

Kelly's about to ask Kaylie if she can be any more of a cliché, but suddenly, Kaylie takes Kelly's hand and gives it a warm squeeze. She freezes and almost jerks away, but then Kaylie lets go and stand up. She walks out of the observation room and gets back to training while Kelly looks on, still trying to comprehend what just happened.

Kelly Parker doesn't have girl friends. She thinks girls are either always looking out for themselves and will stab you in the back in seconds or they're looking for some lifelong commitment and are total clingers. Kelly Parker doesn't have room for either in her life. She has Nicky. She has casual acquaintances and her own teamies, but she wouldn't trust any of those girls with her life. That's why having Kaylie Cruz of all people prying at her with noble intentions is just too weird.

Feeling antsy and having to move around, Kelly gets up from her seat and goes over to the water cooler when no one else is around. She grabs a flimsy paper cup and fills it to the top, taking small sips as she looks around. Lauren Tanner is on beam. Emily Kmetko is on vault. Kaylie Cruz is practicing on bars. Austin Tucker is headed straight towards her. Kelly tosses back the rest of her water like a shot, crumples the cup and tosses it into the trash before she tries to walk away.

"Hey Keeler!" Austin shouts. "Hey! Wait up!"

"What is it, Austin?" Kelly asks irritably.

"So the entire gym is buzzing about us. I guess we could have been a little more discrete yesterday," he says. "How are you holding up?"

"Hmm, let's see," Kelly says. "I'm under house arrest for further notice. Kim is so pissed that I can't believe I didn't see the smoke coming out of her ears. Sasha keeps nagging me and then Princess Cruz got in on the action."

"Your mom I can't exactly help you with. God knows the woman has a target on my back too," Austin says. "But maybe Sasha and Kaylie would stop bugging you if maybe you started practicing like you should."

Kelly scoffs. "Not an option."

"And why is that?" Austin asks.

"Because."

"Not good enough," he says.

Kelly glares at him. She's seconds away from scratching his face right off.

"Look, Payson, I heard about your fall and the surgery. I'll admit it must have sucked to go through, but I've seen you train. You're tough and I respect that," Austin says. "And I'll still respect you even if you're scared. It's okay."

"I'm not scared!" Kelly shouts. Her fists shake with anger and she takes a step closer, but Austin doesn't back down. Instead, he just wears a smug smile and looks her up and down. Seeing this, Kelly falls back and stares at him confusedly. "Wait. Were you checking me out just then?"

Austin chuckles. He doesn't look a bit embarrassed. "What are you talking about?"

"Alright. You need to tell me. What's so attractive about all of this?" Kelly asks, motioning from her blonde hair down to the toes of her tennis shoes. First Nicky and now Austin Tucker? What deal with the devil did Keeler make?

"Well, to be honest, you're kind of freaking me out right now and you really caked on the makeup today," Austin says. He looks nervous for a split second, but then that confident smile returns to his face. "To tell you the truth, guys are _always_ looking at you like that because you're a talented gymnast and you're cute as hell. It took you long enough to notice, Keeler."

Of course Payson is one of those oblivious girls who are so preoccupied with their career that they don't notice things like the way boys look at her. That should have been a no-brainer.

"Alright. Well, I'm going to walk away now," Kelly says. Before she turns away, Kelly gives Austin a pointed look from over her shoulder. "And don't stare at my ass."

Austin laughs and Kelly rolls her eyes.

She can't imagine Payson Keeler dating Austin Tucker. And after talking to Kaylie, Austin's ex, and given the Kaylicky Situation, it's safe to assume Payson probably wouldn't cross that line even if she did see it.

-XX-

After the first milkshake incident or at least the first one Payson has encountered as Kelly, Nicky acts as her protective detail. Harnessing her inner Kelly Parker, Payson tells him that she doesn't need him to fight her battles for her, but as always, Nicky refuses to give in. She feels him looking her way from time to time when they're training on opposite sides of the gym.

Payson can't for the life of her figure out this thing Nicky and Kelly call a friendship. It seems they spend almost every waking second of their lives together. She's mean to him (like she is with everyone) yet he seems completely, for the lack of a better word, _whipped_. They're sleeping with each other even though they aren't dating. It doesn't seem like either of them have any intention to start dating each other either. Payson thinks it's all sorts of weird and twisted, but somehow it works.

Riding in Nicky's car, they pull up into a lot where the local hardware store is selling Christmas trees. Nicky looks excited as he shuts off the engine and gets out of the car. He quickly rounds the front and pulls Payson's door open for her, grabbing her hand and nearly yanking her out of her seat. They walk through rows and rows of trees. Apparently price isn't an issue. It's finding the perfect tree.

"So what kind of tree are we looking for this year?" Nicky asks.

"The usual," Payson says cautiously.

"The most expensive one on the lot it is," Nicky says with a laugh.

The scent is brilliant. It's all around her from the rows of pine trees to the fallen needles on the ground beneath her shoes. Payson lets her fingers trail against the branches of different trees, feeling such a sudden sense of excitement. Christmastime is one of the few times of the year that Payson fully focuses on her family and little else. As hard as it is to push gymnastics to the back of her head, Payson does so and she doesn't feel any guilt over it.

Buying a tree is only one of the many Keeler Family traditions. Right about now Becca would be yards ahead of her, running and shouting and jumping. Her dad would be trying to keep up with her sister and Payson would stroll along, arm-in-arm with her mother. They'd find the perfect tree, load it into the back of her father's truck, drive home singing Christmas songs and decorate it while sipping her mom's famous hot chocolate.

It makes her sad to think she'll be missing out on all of that.

Then Payson feels Nicky's arm around her shoulders and his hand caressing her back. She tilts her head up to look at him and Nicky smiles back. It seems everyone has his or her own little traditions when it comes to Christmastime and this is Kelly's with Nick. It feels different and weird, but it's nice to know there's something human about Kelly Parker.

"Let's see what this one looks like," Nicky says.

Letting go of Payson, Nicky goes to stand beside a tree that's leaning against the chain-link fence. He grabs it by the trunk and makes it stand up straight while Payson takes a step back and inspects it. It has a bald spot on its left side and the branches droop towards the bottom. Payson shakes her head and they keep walking. They come across a few that are absolutely perfect, but Payson gives him the thumbs down just because she figures that Kelly Parker would veto flawless trees just to give him a hard time.

They finally find the one perfect tree, Nicky volunteers to pay and then ties it to the roof of his car. As Nicky is securing the bungee cords, Payson leans back against the side of the car, rubbing her palms together to try to stay warm.

"So the other day you mentioned talking to Kaylie at the Christmas party thing," Payson says. She may not have deep, burning feelings for Nicky Russo anymore, but she is curious.

"Finally." Nicky chuckles and jumps down from the car bumper.

Payson looks at him confusedly. "What do you mean?"

"I think this is the longest you've gone without mentioning Kaylie ever since Nationals," he says. "Usually Kaylie's a daily topic. To be honest, with how you were acting the other day, I've been starting to think you've been abducted by body snatchers or something."

"Funny."

Payson doesn't say it with sarcasm, but a nervous laugh.

"See, like that," he says, motioning to her. "You're being really weird."

Payson sighs. "Better weird or worse weird?"

Nicky stares at her for a long time as if making a decision. "Not-you weird."

"So you'd rather me be a bitch to everyone within a three mile radius?" she asks.

Nicky laughs and walks over to open her door for her.

"I'd rather you be you, Parks," he says. "Even if that means your name is permanently on the naughty list."

Payson just smacks his arm playfully before she gets into the car.

"See that's the Kelly Parker I know," he says. "Violent and squinty."

"Would you just get in the car?"

Nicky gently shuts her door and Payson rolls her eyes. Again, it's weird, but it works.

-XX-

"Is Nick there?" Kelly asks nervously when they're on the phone later that night.

"No," Payson answers. "And it's not from the lack of trying."

"Well, I'm just that good." Kelly laughs haughtily. "It must be driving him insane. Sexting with him and then not letting him near me…or you. Whatevs. That's beyond the definition of tease."

Payson almost chokes on nothing. "Y—you're sexting with him?"

"What I do isn't any of your business, Keeler," she says.

"No," Payson says. "I'm wearing your face. I'm living your life. I'm a brunette! That answer is not valid anymore, Kelly!"

"And you think I'm having a good ol' time?" Kelly says. "I can't train. I don't want to do any of that artistic crap. Austin Tucker keeps hitting on you and your little friends keep trying to make nice. Let me tell you, Keeler, if I've learned anything it's that blondes definitely do not have more fun."

Payson sighs and slumps down into her bed. "And you think this is easy for me? Training is great and all, but every time I walk into Denver Elite, I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, scared I'm going to get hit in the face with a milkshake. Being paranoid isn't my idea of a great time. Plus, Nicky can tell there's something wrong."

"You remember what we said, right? You can't tell him, Keeler," Kelly says quickly.

"Why not?" she asks. "Kelly, maybe it'll make things easier…"

"No. Kaylie came up to me, all concerned and whatever and I didn't rip her a new one. I respect your friendships so respect mine," Kelly says sternly. "Tell him and I will eat everything in sight. It's going to be hard to make it to the Olympics when you're two-hundred pounds."

Payson sighs. "You don't need to threaten me. We're in this together now."

Kelly pauses for a moment. She has to trust Payson just as much as Payson has to trust her. That isn't a concept Kelly Parker is familiar with. She doesn't have long to ponder this when she hears footsteps from down the hall. Getting caught on the phone when Kim had strictly forbidden it can mean an even longer "grounding" and Kelly's already fed up and it hasn't even been a full day.

"Shit. I think someone's coming and I'm not supposed to be on the phone. I gotta go," Kelly whispers. "Remember what I said, Keeler. Don't tell Nicky anything."

"Alright. And thanks…for not ripping Kaylie a new one," Payson says. "Goodnight, Kelly."

"Whatever, Keeler."

* * *

A/N: Alright! I am halfway done with this story! I want to finish it before Christmas, but that may be a little too ambitious. Anyways, encouragement always helps so please _review_.

xoxo


	6. Surprises, Surprises

-XX-

**My Only Wish**

**Chapter Six **

Kelly has a dream about Nicky that night and she figures it's karma. She teases him via text and in turn the universe teases her via dreamland.

Sitting in bed at three in the morning, Kelly plays with the idea of letting Nicky in on this little mix up. She spends some time thinking about this, actually. Every time she comes to the same conclusion. There's no way in hell that she (and even Payson in her body) is telling Nicky.

For one, like everyone else, he'll think she's crazy. Though he makes wishes on stars and eyelashes, Nicky doesn't actually believe in any of it. He's a straight-up science man. He likes what he can control and explain. Even when it comes to gymnastics, Nicky has to put in plain words every move with precise calculations and equate the technical terms with concepts of physics. He may get into the Christmas season, but he won't exactly buy "a Christmas wish did it".

Getting little sleep, Kelly curls up in Payson's bed and at the very root of things she knows it goes deeper than him not believing them. She knows that to Nicky, while Kelly is his Best Friend and Kaylie Cruz is The One Who Didn't Want Him, Payson Keeler is and always will be the One Who Got Away. She has this deeply imbedded fear that if he finds out that it's Payson in there, while spending time together in Denver and trying to figure things out, he – _they_ might realize what they've been missing and seize that lost opportunity.

Kelly is scared to death of losing him and that fact alone, seeing how fucking attached she is, that might scare her most of all.

After yet another restless night of sleep, Kelly whines and argues with Kim, but still ends up at the Rock. She finds a nice corner to sit in and that's what she does for the entire day. Sasha tries over and over to talk her into training. He uses a variety of methods, even reverse psychology, but Kelly won't budge. Keeler would have given in day one, but Kelly is no Keeler no matter how many days she spends in her skin.

"I hope you know you're being ridiculous."

Kelly tilts her head and sees Lauren Tanner standing there. Her hands are on her hips and her blonde hair is up in braids. She's wearing a sparkly orange leotard that really doesn't do anything for her especially against her tan skin. She starts walking closer and Kelly really wishes she wouldn't.

"I thought you of all people would be happy," Kelly says dully.

"Payson," Lauren says exasperatedly. "Why the fuck would I be happy about this?"

"The less competition the better. Isn't that your motto?" Kelly says. "There's no use lying. You and I both know you wouldn't think twice about playing dirty when it comes to something you want. The least you could do is own up to it for once."

Lauren's left eye twitches and that's the window Kelly needs. Usually she can look at a person, start with a vague, basic taunt and see the way it affects them. She picks up on cues, usually a twitch, averting eyes or something along those lines. Then she exploits it till she gets what she needs. With Lauren Tanner, Kelly sees it almost instantly. Guilt.

The only question is: what did she do to Keeler?

Regardless of the _what_, Kelly knows to proceed with caution.

"It doesn't matter what I did or do," Lauren says. "Just know that I think you're making a mistake. You're counting yourself out before the race even starts. It's a waste of talent. That's just sad, Payson, especially for you."

Lauren walks away without even a glance from over her shoulder.

Kelly wants to think that Lauren's words are somewhat sincere, brought about by the Christmas spirit, but she can't. If anything, this partial confession only surfaced because of the provoked guilt. Lauren did something to Payson and by the looks of things it's something major. As intrigued as Kelly is, she hesitates before willingly delving deeper into it. Rock drama is for the Rock girls and Kelly knows when not to pick fights, especially when it isn't hers to fight.

She has to admit that it is a little sad Lauren tried to pull a Kaylie Cruz and do her part to try to get Kelly (who she thinks is Payson) to put that leotard back on. Lauren is supposed to be one of her best friends, but reading her reaction to Kelly calling her out, Lauren threw her friend under the bus.

It just doesn't make sense to Kelly. Why would Lauren sell out Payson of all people? What could Payson possibly have that would be of use to Lauren?

Kelly may decide that she isn't fighting this battle for Payson, but knowing can't hurt.

Standing from her corner, Kelly looks around and sees that everyone is preoccupied. They wouldn't notice her doing a little snooping around the Rock. This is the sort of thing Kelly Parker lives for. She has a vault of secrets burrowed deep in her head, just waiting for the right moment to withdraw deposits and turn them into blackmail. That's why Kelly can read Lauren so easily. They play similar games.

With her heart hammering faster than the first time she ever competed, Kelly casually slips into the locker room. After checking around every corner to make sure she's alone, Kelly goes up to the one she knows to be Lauren's. Kelly clicks her tongue, looking down to see that Lauren had forgotten to set the lock or didn't care to. Either Lauren is stupid or Kelly is just paranoid. After all, the Rock is a stagnant pond while Denver Elite is a tank of sharks.

Looking from side to side and making sure the coast is clear, Kelly pulls on the medal door and starts rifling through everything in there. Once the locker is open, an invisible cloud of perfume flows free from its metal confines and the overwhelming scent makes Kelly cough. Obviously this is Lauren Tanner's locker.

Inside are a few changes of clothes and an armful of shoes. Kelly carefully pushes things around, but is sure to put them back exactly where they'd been before she infiltrated. There's a leather bag sitting at the bottom of the locker and Kelly's face brightens when she unzips the bag and finds a laptop within. Jackpot.

Kelly is peeved when she sees that the laptop is password protected. She sits down on the bench in the middle of the aisle with the laptop resting on her thighs. She tries a number of combinations of the stupidest things she can think of including Lauren's birthday (that Kelly found on Lauren's driver's license that she found in her wallet), but is denied every time.

Right about to give up on her attempt at playing Nancy Drew, Kelly looks up and sees a picture tacked to the locker door. The picture is of Lauren and Carter Anderson, Lauren's not-so-secret boy toy. Kelly almost snorts with laughter when she sees that there had been someone else in the picture, but Lauren had cut them out so it is just of her and the wavy-haired boy. How creepily pathetic of her.

Fingers poised on the keys, Kelly laughs while typing in 'Mrs. Tanner-Anderson' and her lips form a perfect 'o' of shock when she's granted access. Now _that_ is pathetic personified.

Once the laptop boots up, Kelly connects to the Rock Wi-Fi and opens up the browser. About a million tabs pop up. One is Twitter. Even Kelly would agree that one is essential. A number are of websites for clothing stores and boutiques. Among the clutter, Kelly almost misses that one of the tabs is Lauren's e-mail. Girl is making it almost too easy for Kelly.

Looking through the most recent received and sent messages, Kelly's interest peaks when she sees that there's been some dialogue between Lauren and Ellen Beals. Lauren didn't even bother to delete the evidence? Rookie mistake.

It seems Ellen Beals, who Kelly has up until now considered a helpful ally, is apparently working with the Boulder Devil. Now Kelly knows to keep up her guard around Ellen Beals too. No one can play both sides of the field without some sort of hidden agenda.

In the e-mail Lauren sent to Beals there's a jpg attachment. Kelly downloads the photo and opens it. Yet again her little mouth makes that 'o' of astonishment.

Lauren Tanner is the one who leaked the photos of the kiss between Sasha and Payson.

Kelly sits back for a moment, having to take some time to think this through. What a fucking rat. When Kelly had overheard Lauren and Emily Kmetko mention Kaylie's mom's affair with Marty, she had spread it around just to break up the supposed besties. It was mental war tactics. Sasha punching Marty had simply been domino effect. Kelly couldn't have anticipated that one. That's why, a sort of silent apology, she refrained from bitching out Marty until the black eye faded.

On the other hand, Lauren Tanner sold out her _friend_ and her _coach_. Does anything get more despicable than that? Lauren knew the possible repercussions – Sasha potentially losing his job and being discredited as a coach and Payson becoming a spectacle and a cautionary tale of pedophilia – and Lauren went through with it anyways. The idea makes Kelly's skin crawl.

Now Steve Tanner holds control of the club, Beals oversees every move made and Sasha is still coaching. They must have struck up some sort of deal. Not being a member of the Rock, Kelly doesn't know the specifics and she isn't so sure that she'd ever want to know. This web got a lot more tangled and complicated than Kelly had originally anticipated. Shit just got real.

Just as possible ammunition or maybe if she ever decided to tell Payson, Kelly forwards a copy of the e-mail Lauren sent to Beals to her own e-mail account. She then deletes the evidence after she gets the message that it had been successfully sent. Before Kelly can start poking around on the hard drive, she hears the locker room door creak open and her heart starts pumping even faster.

Kelly quickly looks over the screen, making sure everything looks exactly how she had found it. Closing the lid, Kelly slides the laptop back into the bag, zips it back halfway and shuts the locker door as quietly as she can.

"Payson?"

Kelly turns quickly and sees Emily Kmetko.

"Hi and bye," she says nervously. Kelly holds her head high and walks right past Emily and out of the locker room. Her hands are shaking in the pockets of her jacket. Finally able to breathe a sigh of relief, Kelly leans back against the nearby wall.

"Payson!"

Why the fuck do people keep calling her? Who knew Payson Keeler was so popular?

Kelly turns and sees Becca with a wide smile on her face.

"What?" Kelly says breathlessly.

"We're leaving early," Becca says. "I'm going to go change and get my things and mom and me have a surprise for you."

Kelly thinks that she has had enough surprises for one day. Maybe a lifetime.

Still, it doesn't seem like Kelly's opinion on the matter counts for much seeing as she's sitting in the car and they're on their way to the said surprise. The radio is turned up and Kim and Becca join the singer in an upbeat rendition of Jingle Bell Rock. Kelly just sits with her arms crossed over her chest, wishing this day would end already. If she's learned anything from this experience it's that being in a family setting means no independence whatsoever.

Kelly almost dies when she sees where they bring her. An ice rink.

FML.

-XX-

"You know, I think I know why you've been so distant lately…"

Payson gulps loudly. "Y—you do?"

Her hands curl tight around the ceramic mug that's filled with tea. Payson is sitting cross-legged while Nicky is lying on his side. They're sitting in front of the fireplace where a strong, glowing fire illuminates the room and crackles as it continues to burn bright. They've successfully set up and decorated the Christmas tree and the entire house. Apparently, it's another Parks and Nick tradition to hang Christmas decorations all around the entire mansion. It honestly looks like Christmas threw up all over the place. According to Nicky, Kelly wouldn't want it any other way.

"What makes you say that?" Payson asks.

"I found this with all the mail you neglected to get from the mailbox like always," Nicky says. He hands her a postcard from the Alps. All it says on the back, in a pretty, girly script, is 'wish you were here. Love, mom'. Well there's a clue into Kelly's family situation. Apparently, her mom is vacationing in Switzerland.

"Oh."

"I get that things can get a little harder around the holidays with your dad off with Wife #3 and your mom doing whatever she's doing in the Alps, but that's why you've got me," Nicky says. He rests his heavy hand on her knee and Payson tries not to react. "You know, I think my dad puts in extra hours around the holidays just to give him a reason to not spend time with me."

Payson frowns. His hand is the least of her worries. That's just sad.

"Nick—"

"Don't, Kelly, it's cool," Nicky says. Payson sees his conflicted expression for just a second before he looks at her and smiles softly. "Having you is enough. It's always been more than enough. And I know you hate talking about this shit as much as I hate it, but I just want you to know that. Doing all this Christmas stuff and acting like we're kids again, forgetting all our family crap, it's honestly the best party of my year."

"You really mean that?" Payson asks.

Nicky nods vigorously. "Without a doubt."

As they're sitting here, Payson returns his smile before looking back over at the fire. The atmosphere is so romantic, but for some reason Nicky acts like it's as ordinary as having the lamp on. It could be the fact that Nicky is an oblivious boy and just doesn't get things like that or that Kelly and Nicky do this sort of thing so often that it's become routine. Payson really does wonder if Kelly knows how lucky she is to have this boy.

"So what's your favorite Christmas memory?" Nicky asks suddenly.

"I don't know," Payson says. Literally, she doesn't.

"Come on," Nicky presses. "Even you have to have a most memorable Christmas moment. Lord knows we've had more than enough to choose from. I don't think we've been apart for a Christmas since we were kids."

"I can't think," Payson says. Instead, she asks, "What's yours?"

Nicky playfully narrows his eyes. "I asked you first."

Payson just gives him a pointed look and she's sure if she just holds his stare, she'll get her way. Kelly Parker is a master at this and Payson is an amateur at best, but Nicky really sucks because he's the one who looks away and threads his fingers through his dark, messy hair.

"That winter we were ten, I think. Your dad was between marriages and he convinced my dad that we should take a vacation so they took us to Tahoe. Remember? We tried ice skating for the first time," Nicky explains. He laughs nostalgically and Payson smiles like she's imagining it all in her head. It isn't so hard. Ice-skating is one of her favorite pastimes.

"You could not stay standing on that ice to save your life." Nicky laughs again and Payson rolls her eyes just for dramatic effect. She only hopes Kelly is trying just as hard to pretend to be her. "It's beyond me how you're this badass polished gymnast, but you just couldn't get a hang of ice skating and fell maybe a million times."

"Just so you know, it's a completely different concept having your feet firmly planted on the mat and wearing blades on your feet and trying to walk on ice," she says defensively. It makes Nicky smile so she must be doing something right.

"Wait, you didn't let me finish," Nicky says. He moves his hand to cover hers and it makes Payson squirm. "Afterwards, you were bitching up a storm and for some reason we were eating ice cream in thirty-degree weather, walking around the shopping area. We walked under some mistletoe and I kissed you."

Payson nearly melts into a puddle on the ground. Can this boy be any more perfect?

Trying not to show how affected she is, Payson shifts uncomfortable and forces an awkward-sounding laugh. "Just to shut me up, right?"

"Mostly." Nicky nods. "But also because it's tradition and…just because I wanted to."

Nicky reaches out to brush some of her hair away from her eyes and Payson gets the worst feeling. She knows he's going to try to kiss her now and a part of her really wants to let him. His eyes are so dark and intense like he's begging her to let him in and knowing how guarded Kelly is, Payson suspects it's a look he uses on a daily basis. The other, much louder and more annoying part of her is screaming that it isn't right.

Before his lips can meet hers, Payson turns away.

"I can't."

Payson already let him kiss her once in this body and she had felt so dirty afterwards. To let that happen again while knowing what she does now, would be, as Kelly put it, _sick_.

"Fine," Nicky says. The frustration is evident in his voice and also the confusion. Maybe even a hint of sadness in there to. Leaning back, Nicky grabs his car keys off the coffee table and stands up. "I guess I should go then…"

Nicky makes his way to the door and Payson sits there, confused. What just happened?

"Are you seriously leaving right now?" Payson asks, chasing after him.

Nicky turns right around to face her. "Are you going to give me a reason to stay?"

"I'm not having sex with you if that's all you're looking for," she says.

"Well then, I'll see you at the gym tomorrow."

Payson stands there, floored. Apparently Nicky Russo isn't as loving and perfect as she thought. She's starting to suspect he has some sort of mood disorder. One minute he's about to kiss her and the next he's halfway out the front door.

"Okay, what kind of relationship is this?" Payson shouts, marching after him.

"It isn't a relationship," he retorts as he pulls on his coat, standing at the door.

"Well then, it's even worse calling _this_ a friendship," Payson argues. "Friends aren't supposed to walk away just because one of them won't put out. It doesn't work that way."

"If you haven't notice, Parks, this isn't exactly the standard friendship. It's _us_. It's just what we do…at least it was up until a few days ago," he says accusingly. "And just so you know, I'm sick of you playing me hot and cold. Every other girl in the universe does that and I was always happy you weren't like that. Sure, your games are often more twisted, but never when it came to you and me. Now I don't even know what to think."

"Yeah, well, that makes two of us," Payson says exasperatedly. "So you talking about how you don't mind your dad not being around because you have me, all of that was bull?"

"No. Of course not," Nicky assures her. He takes a step towards her, but then he catches himself and stumbles two steps backwards. "I meant it, Kelly. You know that."

"Well you aren't showing it," Payson says. She feels just as frustrated as he looks. That's why she doesn't do any of this messy relationship crap and sticks to gymnastics. This is getting to be too much. "You're playing hot and cold just as much as I am."

Nicky shakes his head. "Wow. I can't do this right now. I'm leaving before we make things even worse."

"Good," Payson says spitefully.

After Nicky walks out, Payson locks the front door behind him. What the hell just happened here? Payson's head is spinning so bad that she has no idea what to even think. She walks to the window that overlooks the driveway and she sees Nicky sitting in his car. The headlights are on and the engine is running, but his car doesn't move. A good five minutes pass and he still doesn't budge.

Payson's phone buzzes in her pocket and she fishes it out. A text from Kelly.

_Why did Nick txt me 'I don't want u going to sleep pissed at me.' Wtf Keeler? _

Before Payson can even think of a reply to text back, her phone buzzes again.

_If it was a stupid argument dont lose sleep over it. Nick n I fight constantly. Nothing new. In other news, u got a new bruise the shape of Texass on ur knee. Not my fault. I dont friggin ice-skate. Srsly._

Payson feels so torn up and confused about this Nicky thing that she can't even think to be pissed at Kelly as she responds.

_I think I ruined your friendship with Nicky._

Payson waits for the call, waits for Kelly to verbally bitch her out, but instead she gets another text message.

_I think Lauren Tanner ruined you_.

Payson doesn't know if she wants to question that any further and she doesn't. Kelly doesn't text her back to ask about Nicky either. Payson just waits until his car finally disappears from the driveway, which takes a good fifteen minutes. Once Payson is completely alone, she stares into the light of the fireplace and hums _Merry Christmas Darling_ to herself.

**

* * *

**A/N: Thanks you everyone who's still actually reading this! **Romance Novel**, **Payson-Nicky-forever**, you knowz you be my lovlies. If I wasn't so swamped with last minute Christmas stuff and a total flake in general, I would have probably proposed a Christmas fic-exchange, but alas I'm determined to get this fic done and I still need to buy my dad a present. Whoops. Just know you two are awesome and two of the best writer-pals I've got (just don't tell LCTD 'cuz she gets jelly like whoa :P). Big thanks to **CSIdestiny **and **Gia **too for the continuous feedback. I love knowing that people actually read the nonsense I write.

6 days till Christmas!

xoxo


	7. Investigator Tucker

-XX-

**My Only Wish**

**Chapter Seven **

Austin Tucker is a big fan of the holidays.

He isn't so sure about how Summer goes on and on about the birth of Christ, the savior of the world, or how to answer people when they ask him about his plans for Christmas. All he knows is that he feels a giddy, childlike excitement when he sees his breath in front of him and hears the crunch of snow beneath his boots. It's always a welcomed change when people become less gymnastics-obsessed and loosen up once the days till Christmas dwindle.

This is Austin's first Christmas at the Rock and it bugs him to no end that everyone is being so weird. Austin has pinpointed the unease and has found one Payson Keeler as the eye of the storm of awkward. He doesn't like it. He doesn't like it one bit and intends to get to the bottom of it. He also might hope that doing this for everyone could possibly get him off the Naughty List (because his name is so at the top).

Seeing Payson not training (what a shocker) and on her phone instead, Austin creeps up behind her and strains his ears to listen in, trying to find some clues as to why she's acting so strange lately.

Austin always saw Payson Keeler as this fierce gymnast with an eye on gold that let nothing get in the way of her focus. Austin wouldn't even dream of trying to get in her way or bugging her for the fun of it because of all the people who _deserved_ victory, it's Payson Keeler. That's why it's so odd to see her like this, using her iron resolve to stop her training instead of catapulting further, getting closer to the Olympics. She's always been interesting to him, but she's been less discrete about it, especially now, screaming into her phone.

"No, Keeler, do not apologize to him!"

Austin laughs to himself, but it's soft enough as to not blow his cover.

Shit. Payson's crazy. She's talking to herself.

"Okay, I admit that sexting him probably just made things worse, but _you_ didn't do anything wrong. You're right for calling Nick out on his shit," she continues. "No. Don't confront him about it. Don't talk to him. Don't even look at him. Avoid him at all cost. And stop saying that. It'll pass. It always does with me and him."

Austin's face twists in confusion. Who could she possibly be talking to?

"Um, yeah, Keeler, if I could snap my fucking fingers and be Kelly Parker again then that's what I'd do," she says. Now Austin is really confused. She starts manically snapping her fingers just to make her point. "Hear that, Payson? Snapping. My. Fucking. Fingers. I'm still you. You're still me. It sucks, but we just have to figure out some way to deal."

Austin has heard enough. He leans back against the wall, trying to make sense of what he's heard. Austin entertains the idea of going to find Sasha and suggest that maybe Payson has taken a critical blow to the head and is suffering severe brain damage, delusions, some legitimate explanation like that. For one, the girl is talking to herself, convinced she's Kelly Parker and strangest of all, _wants_ to be Kelly Parker.

The hell?

While Austin continues to lean there, Payson – or who he thinks is Payson – walks across the room and doesn't even acknowledge him as she does. It isn't like he spends a lot of his time watching Payson Keeler and memorizing the way she walks, but there is something odd about it. He's noticed that Payson almost tiptoes around (especially around Sasha), but lately it's been more of an overconfident strut even if she doesn't have anything to show for it.

Now that he thinks of it, her newfound way of walking does remind him of that Denver girl from the Christmas party. Kelly Parker.

"Shit," Austin curses beneath his breath. "I'm losing my mind."

He knows he should report this Sasha. Instead of overthinking or even considering some crazy notion, Austin could wash his hands of all of this insanity right now. However, there's something deep within him, an instinct, that's telling him something is really off here. Telling Sasha is probably what Austin should do, but it isn't what he's going to do.

There's only one way to find out.

Austin grabs his leather jacket and nearly runs to the front door.

"Hey dude, you want to spot me?" Carter asks, but Austin just blazes right past him.

"Actually, there's something I need to take care of," Austin says. "Cover for me, will yah?"

"No offense, bro, but I doubt anyone would even notice. They're all still scratching their heads over the Payson situation," Carter explains.

Right. While everyone is scratching their heads, Austin is going out and doing something about it.

-XX-

Kelly tells her not to do anything about Nicky and so Payson doesn't.

After sleeping on it, she still doesn't understand. The roller coaster to relationship metaphor is used so much that it's probably a cliché, but Nicky and Kelly's "friendship" is that multiplied by a thousand. From what Payson has heard, their good moments are sweet, high up in the sky, the things fairy tales are built upon, but their bad moments are like a gut-wrenching plummet off a tall cliff. Payson doesn't get why they do it, but she's pretty sure neither could quit even if they tried.

Training at Denver Elite that next morning is an isolated one. A part of Payson has been expecting Nicky to be waiting out by her parking space, ready with an apology, but that doesn't happen. He ignores her so in turn, Payson ignores him. It's like a reverse game of Chicken where they see who can last the longest away from each other instead of going head-to-head. Something tells her this is just another one of their routines.

During their lunch break, Nicky is nowhere to be found. Standing near the water cooler, Payson sees the two girls from the first day (she thinks Kelly referred to the unstable blonde as Jenna and the bitch-looking one as Stephanie). They're eyeing her and giggling. When girls start to do this, Payson usually tries to avoid any actual face-to-face confrontations. Then again, before coming here, she didn't have to worry about milkshakes thrown at her.

Payson walks out the front door for some fresh air and to dodge the girls, wearing her thick jacket loosely. Out of all the things that could hace possibly happened, running into Austin Tucker is the last on her list, but somehow actually happens. They pause short of bumping into each other and he looks just as surprised to see her, as she is to see him.

"Austin Tucker," Payson says. "What are you doing in Denver?"

"I'm here to see you, actually," he says smoothly. "Kelly Parker, right?"

The way he says Kelly's name makes Payson instantly uneasy as she pulls her jacket tighter around her slim form. It's like he has a secret or worse_, knows their secret_.

"What would you want with me?" she asks suspiciously.

Austin smirks. "Just to talk."

"About what?"

"You ask a lot of questions," he observes. Wearing that carefree, intrigued smirk of his, Austin starts to slowly circle her much like a shark would. "Here. I've got some questions of my own. What would you say about a little word association?"

Payson narrows her eyes. Now she definitely knows something isn't right.

"I say you should probably be back in Boulder training," Payson says firmly.

Despite her authoritative voice, Austin doesn't look like he's taking her seriously.

"Wow, Parker, it almost sounds like you care. That isn't very _you_ is it?" Austin says. Now Payson feels like he's just toying with her and she's desperate to know what he knows. "Just humor me and I'll get out of your face. I'm going to say something and all I want you do to is say the first thing that comes to your mind. Okay?"

Payson nods. "Sounds easy enough."

"Emily Kmetko."

"Quiet."

"Kaylie Cruz."

"Sweet." Payson mentally curses, hearing her slip-up. "Wait, I mean—"

"Too late," Austin says quickly. "Lauren Tanner."

"Bitch."

"Wrong. Wrong. And close, but still wrong," Austin says. "For Emily, yeah, she's quiet, but Kelly Parker, the girl from the Christmas party, would have probably said in-over-her-head or mute or simply '_who?'_ And Kaylie – something like undeserving, definitely _not _sweet. And Lauren…well, bitch was right, but your tone was wrong, like you were trying to tell me what I wanted to hear and not actually meaning it. You're not much of an actress are you, Keeler?"

"No. Not at—" Payson blinks. "Wait. What did you just call me?"

"So it's true," Austin says. "Just like I thought."

Payson's eyes widen. "Y—you know?"

"I had a hunch," Austin says. "Actually, I overheard you or, err, Kelly talking to herself, or, well, you on the phone. At first I thought Payson Keeler went ape shit crazy, but then the more I listened, the more I started thinking about it. I just put the pieces together, but I needed to come here and see you for myself before deciding anything."

"Why did you care so much to drive all the way out here?" she questions.

"More curious than anything. I just couldn't let it go and I probably would have kept thinking about it if I didn't come out here and do some digging around," Austin says. "Damn Payson. It's really you in there?"

"Yeah," Payson says. She slowly nods up and down, looking into his eyes. "It's really me."

Still eyeing her suspiciously, Austin slowly reaches in and touches her cheek. Payson is certain that if she were in her own skin, her face would be bright red. She inwardly prays that Kelly Parker's slight tan can combat the all-consuming blush. There's something about his touch, so unexpectedly tender. It grabs something deep in her and Payson struggles with whether it's actually her feeling all of this or Kelly's body reacting this way.

"C'mon," Austin says. "Let's go for a walk."

"I hate to state the obvious, but it's snowing," Payson points out.

A giddy expression captures Austin's handsome face as he looks out and sees the snowflakes drifting down, covering the windshields of the cars parked in the lot. He makes it seem like it's the first time he's ever seen snow, but that couldn't be. It's been snowing all week now.

"Look at that," Austin says, holding his hand out to catch the falling snow on the tips of his fingers. "Even better. A walk in the snow. It's what all those cheesy, lovey-dovey Christmas songs are made of."

He gives her this look and Payson feels so weak so suddenly.

"I don't know," she says, pulling herself together and burying these feelings that threaten to take over and render her bumbling and speechless. "Um, the lunch break isn't that long. Marty is going to freak if I'm not right back in there when I should be."

Austin rolls his eyes. "I think Marty throwing a hissy fit is the least of your worries right now. Plus, when we get all of this cleared up, you're going to need to do some major and I mean _major_ damage control with Sasha. A little coach drama for Kelly would only even the scoreboard."

"Wait," Payson says. "Did you just say _we_?"

"I'm willing to lend my assistance, yeah," Austin says. "As long as you tell me everything."

"You really want to know everything?" she asks.

"Oh, I'm just dying with curiosity," Austin replies.

"Alright," Payson says. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Payson pulls up the zipper of her parka and they start to walk down the sidewalk. She shoves her hands into her pockets as they walk side by side. Payson stares down at the mixture of dirt and snow beneath her boots while Austin stares up at the snow flurries overhead. Payson starts from the very beginning, telling him about the Christmas party, waking up as Kelly Parker and the Freaky Friday theory being the only thing they have to go on.

As Payson talks, Austin looks at her with a completely focused expression. He nods from time to time and asks questions, letting her know that he's serious about helping in any way that he can. They walk a few blocks and turn right back around, heading to Denver Elite with melted snow caked to the bottom of their shoes and in their hair.

"So you wanted to be a power gymnast again," Austin says for clarity.

"Right. It was stupid," Payson says quickly. "But it isn't like I actually thought it'd come true."

"And how's that working out for you?"

"It's nice," Payson says. "It's nice to feel so powerful again and in control. Then again, with Kelly's status as a power gymnast comes Kelly's life and Kelly's baggage. She's a lot more…complex than I thought and she has her own way of dealing with it and it isn't the easiest to imitate. I could really do without that."

"So you'd give it all back if you could?" Austin asks. "You'd go back to being an artistic gymnast?"

"If it means having my life back, being with my family and friends again then yeah," Payson replies. She doesn't think she's ever been surer of anything in her life. "I'd take back that wish in a heartbeat."

"Sounds like a lesson learned to me," Austin says.

"Me too," Payson says, "But still no switch back."

"Well, maybe Kelly is yet to hold up her end of the bargain," Austin suggests.

Payson winces. "So is she ruining my life?"

"I don't know about _ruining_. I mean, it isn't like she can just turn off Kelly Parker and be you like there's some switch or something," Austin says, "But she refuses to be an artistic gymnast so she isn't training and Sasha doesn't know how to deal with her, because, well, she isn't you. He blames himself for 'you' practically quitting gymnastics. Plus, he's already preoccupied. Beals practically has his balls in her purse these days."

"And everyone else?"

"Kaylie is worried. So is Em. Lauren is super on edge for some reason, but I haven't seen or heard of any recent girlfights in the locker room," Austin says, staring at her hard. "Holy crap. It still blows my mind that I'm talking to you right now and the girl that's been moping around the Rock is actually Kelly trapped in your body. Wow. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"Tell me about it," Payson says. "Kelly says we just need to ride this out, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I'm obviously not fooling anyone and I feel like I get crazier and crazier every day."

They end up right where they started and Austin lays his hands on her shoulders, making Payson face him.

"Hey. Relax," he says soothingly, rubbing his glove-clap hands up and down her arms. "It's going to be okay. You aren't crazy. I'm going to make sure you get right back where you belong. It's Christmastime, Keeler. All you've got to do is believe that everything will work out and it will."

Before Payson can respond, Austin wraps his arms around her in an unexpected hug. Her face meets his chest and he holds her tight. At first Payson is a little uncomfortable, but then she finds herself leaning in and hugging him back. Austin is the one person who knows her secret and sees her for her (aside from Kelly who would never hug her in a million years). She's been unconsciously craving this sort of understanding and now she's finally found it.

As they remain there, hugging out in front of Denver Elite, neither realizes they have an audience. Nicky gives them one last glance through the window before he disappears back inside.

-XX-

Kelly Parker knits. It's her personal form of therapy.

After getting back from that horrendous attempt at ice-skating, Kelly had been rifling through the hallway closet, looking for the First Aid Kit, when she found the knitting needles and yarn tucked away on a shelf like buried treasure. Such a find had made Kelly almost completely forget about how she spent the evening on ice, clinging to the side on shaky legs, looking like a cat trying to avoid a tub of water. At this point, Kim was extra concerned and Kelly had an even harder time ignoring them.

Sitting on Payson's bed before dinner, Kelly holds the needle with the stitches on it in her left hand and the empty needle in her right. She slips the tip of the right-handed needle into the first loop, from to back to front, loops the yarn over, turns the stitch, finishes the stitch and repeats. It's the knit stitch, the most basic pattern in the knitting world and also the first pattern she had ever learned.

Knitting helps her in the same way that gymnastics does. It keeps her hands busy and in a state of constant motion. It helps her concentrate all her attention and focus all her energy on one task and tune everything else out. If Kelly didn't do gymnastics or knit, she probably would have be driven mad by her racing thoughts and impulses long before that shooting star came into her life.

"Payson, what are you doing?"

This is exactly what she needs. Apparently being alone is unheard of in the Keeler house.

Stopping her work, Kelly looks over at the door and sees Becca standing there with a kind smile. Kelly has the urge to snap at the young girl, but for once she doesn't. Kelly can say all the cruel and nasty things that she wants, but something tells her that it's useless. There's no way of scaring off Becca Keeler. Kelly wonders if Payson knows how devoted her little sister is to her.

"Why, Becca, what does it look like I'm doing?" Kelly asks as sweetly as she can. She can't resist the sarcastic bite to her voice, but at least she's making an effort for once.

"It looks like you're imitating grandma," the younger teen teasingly replies.

"Thanks," Kelly says dryly.

Instead of walking away, Becca goes to sit on the edge of the bed and watches intently as Kelly's fingers start to move again. She's done this stitch pattern so many times before that she has the directions committed to memory. Kelly doesn't even have to think about what she's doing. Her fingers just move automatically in such a precise, soothing rhythm that never changes. Oh, if only life were as neat and simple.

"What are you making?" Becca asks.

"A garter stitch scarf," Kelly replies automatically. "It's the most basic pattern because it only involves the knit stitch, easy and quick. Helen Keller could probably do it."

"Where did you learn how to do this?"

Kelly shrugs. "I just did."

Her therapist had shown her how. After multiple session of no conversation whatsoever, no working through issues, but an effective waste of her father's money, her therapist had bought Kelly her very first set of needles and yarn. The therapist had taught her how to use knitting as a healthy method of expelling her energy and working through her anger.

Therapy sessions became knitting lessons. Her therapist had hoped Kelly would loosen up and maybe even open up. However, damaged and detached Kelly Parker still refused to talk about her family and why she does the things she does and says the things she says. She walked away from therapy, still clinging tight to her baggage, but mastering a pretty badass winter watermelon hat pattern.

However, all of that isn't something Kelly is about to tell innocent little Becca Keeler, the girl with the perfect family and the innocent eyes. Becca would never understand. Apparently she has a mother who gives a damn and they tell each other everything. Kelly can't remember the last actual face-to-face conversation she had with her mom. That's probably something she should have told the therapist, but didn't. She couldn't.

"Well, I think it's pretty cool," Becca says, always so bright and upbeat.

No grandma joke? No calling her weird? Kelly is surprised to say the least.

"Really?"

Becca nods. "Really."

"Cool," Kelly says. She continues to work on the scarf while Becca looks on in sheer fascination. Kelly clears her throat, getting this feeling that she should probably say something even if she doesn't know what or why. "By the way, Becca, I know I've been acting…strange and I just want you to know that I never purposely tried to hurt your feels or whatever. It's just…lately…"

"Payson, you don't have to say anything," Becca says. "I get that you have a lot going on. It's okay. With what you've been through, I really don't blame you."

"Wow. You have no idea how right you are," Kelly says exasperatedly. "So we're cool?"

"Of course," Becca responds. "We're sisters. I don't think we have a choice."

They share a smile and Kelly continues to work on the scarf with burgundy yarn. She then suggests Becca put on some Christmas music and the young teen does so with such a bright smile on her face. Becca softly sings along with Payson's iPod and Kelly might have even found herself humming the tune at one point.

Eventually, Kim calls them downstairs for dinner and Kelly puts her project aside. It still baffles her how after all the arguments they've gotten into over the last few days, Kim doesn't look at her like she's a disappointment or a monster. Kim looks at her with concern and it's fairly obvious that Kim holds back and lets her make her own decisions and her own mistakes. It's like every time they're around each other, Kim gives her a new chance and doesn't hold the past against her. Kelly is baffled, but appreciates it nonetheless.

Seeing this and feeling almost guilty, Kelly doesn't pick a fight. Not tonight. She does everything in her power to be agreeable and doesn't say a word when Kim and Becca grab at her hands when it comes time to say grace. At one point during dinner, Becca starts bragging about how her sister is an amazing closet crafter and in return, Kelly says that Becca's round off is coming along nicely. Hearing such praise, Becca looks over at Kelly with such admiration. She doesn't think anyone has ever looked at her like that, like she could be a role model.

After dinner, they finally decorate the house and this is something Kelly considers herself an expert at. She hangs ornaments, lines the staircase banister with garland, hangs stockings in birth order and arranges Kim's Christmas collectables on the mantle over the fireplace. Kelly feels so in her element. This is something she can control unlike so many other things that have suddenly sprung up in her life.

As Kim and Becca brew a batch of hot chocolate with _The Christmas Shoes _playing in the background, Mr. Keeler – Mark – gently takes an angel tree-topper out of a box. It's a beautiful piece with a porcelain face, wavy brown hair, a white, flowing dress and golden wings, covered in head to toe in glitter. He hands it to Kelly and directs her to the very top of the tree. Standing on the tip of her toes, Kelly places it and turns in circles, admiring the festive surroundings.

Kelly feels a hand on her shoulder and looks over to see Kim smiling at her. It isn't until then that Kelly realizes she's been smiling the entire time. It may not be her usual setting, but if Kelly is being completely honest with herself, being in the Keeler house, surrounded by such caring, wholesome individuals is something she's fantasized about ever since her parents' divorce. The only thing she's missing is Nicky and without him, nothing is perfect.

* * *

A/N: Whether it's a good thing or a bad one, this story is so close to being finished! It's such a pleasure to write. Special thanks to **CSIdestiny**, **Romance Novel** and **Shootapsky** for reviewing, but I've got much love for my lurkers too. I told my dad I want giftcards for Christmas (because the thought of him shopping for me is close to a nightmare), but after subjecting him to watch MIOBI with me since I go to see his precious Yankees with him, I having a feeling I'm getting MIOBI s1 on DVD. I will literally LMFAO hard if it happens.

As always, review?

xoxo


	8. Sacrificial Lamb

-XX-

**My Only Wish**

**Chapter Eight**

It's been too long. If Payson hasn't already lost her mind then it's happening now.

She's in Boulder. Instead of going to practice at Denver Elite like she's been doing for the last few days, Payson drives home. While the rest of the Keelers are still waking up and getting ready for the day, Kelly sneaks out of the house. She walks two blocks to where Payson is parked. Before she gets in, Kelly literally hugs the front of her car so long that Payson has to roll down the window and shout for her to just get in already.

Sitting there with the heater cranked up to maximum, the two talk about Austin knowing about the wish and Kelly doesn't really seem to care who knows as long as it isn't Nicky. For some reason Kelly seems super uncomfortable when Payson asks about her friend or the Rock in general. Payson can only hope for the best and expect the worst when it comes to Kelly Parker.

After talking for a little while longer, Kelly eventually goes back into the house, dragging her feet the entire time. Right as Payson is about to take off and drive back to Denver, she notices that Kelly forgot her cell phone on the cushioned seat. Payson kills the engine and sits there, trying to figure out what she should do. She knows that she can't exactly go up to the front door and ring the bell. Payson sits and watches the Keelers leave for the day and she puts the car in drive, following after them.

Payson doesn't know what she thinks she's accomplishing by sitting in the Rock parking lot, frozen behind the wheel of Kelly's car. It isn't like she can just take the cell phone, waltz right in and give it to Kelly. Instead, she just sits and sees all her friends' cars in a row, each with their designated parking stalls. She's yet to see any of them, but that's probably due to the cold weather and the fact that it's the last day of training before the Christmas break.

Payson should probably be in Denver, keeping up appearances as Kelly Parker and training, but she can't. She has no motivation anymore. Marty doesn't give her the one-on-one attention like Sasha does. He juggles at least a dozen other gymnasts and he's equal and fair, but he also expects more than she has to give right now. Payson has learned that there's no point in being a power gymnast if she isn't herself. She would choose her life above all else, artistic gymnastics track and all.

Her heart swells when she sees her mom walking out from the front doors of the Rock. Pulling her coat tight around her, Kim walks towards her car and clicks the alarm off. It makes Payson smile. Despite how organized and put-together she is Kim Keeler is notoriously forgetful. Sometimes she lets the little things slip away from her. It's something Payson thinks she gets from her mom.

Suddenly, without thinking, Payson gets out of the car. She just needs to hear her mother's voice. Sitting alone in Kelly's empty house has gotten to her in the worst way.

Kim gets whatever it is she needs from her car and starts rushing back to the entrance to the Rock. Payson picks up speed, nearly sprinting across the slushy parking lot and almost slipping once or twice. Kim walks in through the front doors and right when Payson reaches to grab the door, someone shoves it open from inside.

Lauren. And Kaylie right behind her.

Payson gets the biggest, probably most idiotic smile on her face and she almost moves forward to hug her friends, but the weary expressions on their faces stop her in her tracks. With the day-to-day shuffle and how they're always so concentrated on gymnastics and personal issues that arise, sometimes their friendship gets muted and lost, but Payson always thinks she can count on the girls.

"I thought I saw you creeping out in the parking lot. Turns out I was right as always," Lauren says immediately. "What? Did Marty send you to play spy?"

"And this close to Christmas," Kaylie adds. "Can you get any lower?"

At first Payson doesn't know where all this animosity is coming from, but then she remembers that she's wearing Kelly Parker's face.

"I'm not spying," Payson says.

"Oh please," Lauren scowls. "What other reason would you have for being here?"

Payson thinks about her mom and how desperate she had been to see her, to grasp onto a piece of who she actually is, no matter how minuscule. With the way Lauren and Kaylie are staring, Payson is ready to blurt out everything she's feeling and try to make them understand what she's going through. Ultimately, Payson just bites her tongue.

"I'm here to see Payson," she says.

"And why would you want to do that?" Kaylie asks with such a protective ferocity to her voice. She gets this look on her face like she figured everything out when it's fairly obvious she knows nothing at all. "Did you say something to her? No wonder she's been acting so weird lately. Kelly, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," she says.

"Like we're going to believe that," Lauren says. "Payson has been catatonic as of late. Of course _you_ and your mind games are behind it. Get a clue, Kelly Parker. No one needs your shit and no one likes you."

"You should leave," Kaylie says. "Now."

"No. Don't. Stay," Lauren says, "It'd be the ultimate Christmas gift to see your fat ass hauled off Rock property by the cops."

Having heard enough and lacking Kelly's ability to feed off of negative energy and make a situation worse, Payson turns on her heels and walks back to the car. She can feel the water in her eyes, not so much because Lauren said she has a fat ass, but because of _everything_. It's overwhelming. She waits until she gets in the car and finally lets the tears leak from her eyes.

This isn't what she wants. It's never been what she wanted. Sure the feeling of training and being independence was amazing and fulfilling in the beginning, but it didn't last like Payson thought it could. She starts feeling empty and that feeling only started to spread the longer she's away from her family, her friends and the Rock. Payson can't take it anymore.

When the passenger side door clicks open, Payson sniffles and quickly swipes the back of her hands over her eyes. Through her teary eyes, Payson sees Austin and she's automatically confused. He looks at her with concern and puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. Payson doesn't know why he's here or how he knew she needed him without even being told, but she isn't about to push him away either.

"I overheard Lauren and Kaylie. You know that was just them being girls." Austin tries, he really does. "They didn't know you were you and the claws came out instinctively. They didn't mean it. Payson, you need to breathe."

"Austin, I—I can't anymore! I miss my family more than you could ever imagine. My friends, girls I've known since I first moved here, don't even recognize me and, oh yeah, I'm stuck in Kelly Parker's body!" Payson shouts. "It is not okay. This is probably the worst Christmas ever!"

"Shh…"

Austin rubs his hand in comforting circles down her arm and across her back.

"Everything is so messed up," Payson says, quieter this time. "God, I'm even crying."

Laughing softly, Austin touches the tears on her cheeks and Payson shyly turns away. He continues to chase away the tear tracks and says, "something tells me you aren't the crying type."

"Never in front of anyone at least," Payson coyly murmurs.

"Well, I'm honored," he says, wearing that damn charming smile.

Before she even realizes, the tears cease to fall.

"This isn't permanent. It can't be. No quick fix comes to mind right now, but I promise you'll be the first to know when the ol' Tucker light bulb goes off," Austin assures her, tapping his index finger against his temple. "In the meantime, is there anything else I could do to help?"

"Find Kelly and get her for me," Payson says, sniffling.

"On it."

Austin gently pats the top of Payson's head and gives her a smile before he gets out of the car. Payson stares after him, finding him kind of odd. When Austin Tucker first came to the Rock, everyone had been so taken by him and his bad boy ways. He's still that same person in the sense that he'll check out anything with breasts and he's still a serial dater, constantly seen with different models and actresses, but he isn't that stereotypical "bad boy" anymore. He's playful and funny and charming. He's Austin.

Payson leans back into the headrest and stares forward. She tilts her head to the side when she notices that her mom's car is no longer parked in the Keeler space. Something tells her that Austin isn't going to find Kelly in the gym.

Suddenly Kelly's phone rings and it draws her attention. Payson reaches for the BlackBerry and turns it over in her hand. It's Nicky.

Sighing, Payson holds the phone up to her ear. "Hey Nick, this isn't a good time…"

"Kelly, where are you?" he asks urgently.

"Nowhere," she replies. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"Well, you _need_ to get down to DE right now," he says from the other end of the phone line. "Are you far from here? I don't know how much longer I can cover for you. Marty's been asking about you all morning."

"You covered for me?" Payson asks, sitting up in her seat.

"Of course," he replies.

"Why would you do that?" she asks. "We aren't even talking."

"It was stupid and I'm over it," Nicky says. "You may be a pain in the ass, Parks, but I've got your back."

Payson manages a small smile. The tension with Nicky had been one of the many things that pushed Payson over the edge and now here he is, calling her to say he's over it? It can't be that simple. Can it?

Just then the door opens again and in comes Austin. "Hey. I can't find her anywhere…"

Payson quickly signals for him to be quiet, but it's too late.

"Are you with Austin Tucker?" Nicky asks. There's confusion and even anger in his voice.

Payson inwardly curses. "Listen Nick, I need to get going. I'll explain later. I promise."

"No. You can't just brush this off, Kelly," Nicky says. Payson can feel that dreadful feeling rising within her yet again. "I saw you with him outside of DE yesterday _hugging_ like you're…I don't even know. What the hell? First Kaylie and now you of all people jumped on the Austin Tucker train? You need to explain to me what's so good about that guy because I just don't see it."

"This isn't about Austin," she says. Her voice comes out whiny and annoying, something Kelly's voice seems to do frequently, especially when she's stressed or frustrated.

"Kelly, don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying!" she shouts. "You're being ridiculous and making a big thing out of nothing!"

"Why can't you just be honest with me? I've been trying, really trying, these last couple of days, but to tell you the truth, Parks, there's only so much I can put up with…"

"Nick, you need to calm down and listen to me," Payson says firmly. "Nick…Nick!"

She looks at the screen and sees that he hung up on her.

"So I take it you aren't having the best day," Austin says slowly.

Payson groans and presses her forehead to the steering wheel. "Not. At. All."

-XX-

Kelly needed out of there and fast. Another second in the Rock and she probably would have had a mental breakdown, ranting about her current situation to the entire gym and making Payson look like more of a lunatic than she already appears to be. It isn't like Kelly is trying to protect what's less of Payson's reputation or anything. It isn't like she's trying to destroy her life either. She just needed to get out of there.

Sasha had pulled her aside and gotten in her face. It was evident how much he cared in the tone of his voice and those crystal clear blue eyes just begging to be let in. Kelly couldn't do it. No matter how pathetic and desperate he looked, Kelly still couldn't bring herself to trust him. It was obvious how hard he was fighting to get through to her, but it wasn't for her to hear or her to tell. It was for Payson and Payson alone.

Kelly ended up sneaking into the office and stealing Kim's keys to the car. Kim isn't going to be very pleased and just as they were starting to find some common ground. At the very least, Kelly did manage to scribble on a post-it about how she truly doesn't deserve a mom who gives a damn and that she's sorry for all the trouble she's caused – stealing her car included.

Taking control of the mom mobile, Kelly drives straight to Denver Elite. It's her home. She's spent more time in the gym than she does that mansion atop the hill. Denver Elite has always been one of the few places she felt she belonged. Parking towards the back of the lot, Kelly gets out and just leans against the car, staring up at the building in front of her.

She barely feels the cold and she's desperate to feel something.

"Payson Keeler!"

Shit. Getting spotted and recognized wasn't apart of this little fieldtrip.

Kelly looks over and she sees Marty walking towards her. She quickly fixes her posture and stands straight in front of her coach like she's about to be evaluated. He wears a small, welcoming smile as he joins her. Kelly has never felt compelled to hug Marty before this moment. He could even bitch her out and nothing would make her smile more.

"Payson Keeler, what are you doing here?" he asks.

"No clue," she replies honestly. Marty looks at her curiously and the weight of his gaze easily makes her uncomfortable. Kelly curls her fingers around the car keys in her pocket and starts to back away from him. "I should probably leave. This isn't exactly my place…"

"No. It's fine. Stand out in the cold as long as you like," Marty says, leaning back against the car. "Actually, you better get inside. The last thing you want, as a gymnast, and as a teenager days before Christmas, is getting stuck in bed with a cold."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine," Kelly says. Her hand relaxes and her eyes move back over to the glowing Denver Elite sign. "You know, I actually came here thinking it'd give me answers."

"And?"

"And I've come up empty," she says.

"Payson, is there something going on at home?" Marty asks. He actually sounds concerned.

"No," Kelly says. She feels a stab of guilt, thinking of the way she just jacked the Keeler car and after they've been so good to her. It was actually nice to get a taste of how the other side lived. "Home is great. It's beyond great. It's perfect."

"What about the Rock?"

"Not so perfect," Kelly replies.

"Is it Sasha? Did he touch you? I swear if he laid a Goddamn hand on you again—"

"No, it's not that," Kelly says. She's impressed and a little startled by how much he really does care.

"You know, I never wanted to leave you girls," Marty says. "It nearly killed me, but in the long run, I thought it was for the best. I thought I was doing everyone a favor by leaving and when they brought in Belov, I thought that I could actually get some sleep at night knowing you were still being mentored by the best of the best. If I knew he was going to do that…"

"I don't want to talk about that," Kelly says quickly. She really doesn't. By the look on his face, Marty doesn't want to either. "I just need to know…are you happy at Denver Elite?"

Marty pauses long enough to make Kelly nervous.

"Yes," he answers. "Yes, I am."

Kelly shakes her head. "You don't need to lie to me."

"I know that and I'm not," he assures her. "When I see you, Kaylie, Lauren and even Emily, when I see you girls at competitions and how much you've grown as gymnasts, I know you never really needed me. You'd all be spectacular gymnasts regardless of if I was there to bark at you all day or not. Here at Denver Elite on the other hand, some of these gymnasts need that extra push and I'm here to give that to 'em."

"Like Kelly Parker?" she asks.

Marty laughs. "If they gave out gold medals for ambition, I think Kelly would _still_ be reigning champion. Firecracker Parker, we call her. She has the skill, no doubt, but that attitude. She took a little fall from grace after Nationals, but I think it was for the best. It can be a humbling experience and if I could only get her to see that. I don't think any other coach has the patience or guts to put her in her place so, yes, Payson, gymnasts like Kelly Parker."

Kelly almost smiles, but resists. She sees his point.

"You want to come inside and warm up before you drive back?" Marty suggests.

"I'd rather not," Kelly says.

"Suit yourself," he says.

"Payson? Is that you?"

Kelly's heart starts hammering in her chest because she would know voice anywhere. She looks out towards Denver Elite and she sees Nicky standing there beneath the marquee. He's looking over at her with a tired smile as he tries to force a friendly front. Nicky starts walking towards her and Kelly feels she should get into the car and drive away now before she does something stupid like maul him in front of Marty.

"Hey," Nicky says. He sounds so shy and the way he approaches is so unsure and bumbling.

"Hi," Kelly says awkwardly, resisting the urge to start tearing his clothes off.

"I guess that's my cue to leave," Marty says. He straightens his jacket and gives her a smile, failing to notice the way Kelly is nonverbally begging him not to leave her alone here with Nicky. "It was nice seeing you, Payson. You take care and tell your parents I said happy holidays."

"I will," she says.

Marty walks away after giving Nicky a pat on the back, a subtle warning if she's ever seen one.

"So Payson, what are you doing in Denver?"

"Just, um, visiting Marty," Kelly says. It sounds just as lame aloud as it did in her head.

"That's cool."

There's a long stretch of silence and Kelly hates it. This isn't how things are supposed to be between them. There isn't supposed to be any awkwardness. They aren't supposed to be standing so far away from each other, like mere acquaintances, like virtual strangers. He looks like he doesn't know how he's supposed to act around her and Kelly is desperate for him to just be himself.

"So I've heard some things about you," Kelly says. At the sound of her voice, Nicky looks up at her and arches his eyebrows. "Apparently, Nicky Russo is a favorite gossip topic even after leaving the Rock."

"Apparently," he laughs. "What are they saying now?"

Kelly knows it's probably a disaster about to happen, but she just can't stop herself.

"Oh, just some things about you and Kelly Parker," she says. Kelly closely watches his face. He looks like he's going to be sick. At this point, Kelly would take what she sees and exploit it until he tells her everything, but Payson wouldn't do that. "You know, it's fine if you don't want to talk about it. I guess it isn't any of my business."

"You're right. It isn't." Nicky snaps. Kelly looks taken aback, surprised by the way he suddenly flipped out like that. She, Kelly Parker, is used to him being moody and whatnot, but not in front of Payson Keeler. Nicky catches himself and he instantly looks apologetic. "No. God, Payson, I shouldn't have said it like that."

"It's okay," she says. Over and over, Kelly reminds herself to be patient and understanding. It isn't her ideal tactic, but it should reap the same results. At least, she hopes it will. "I'm sorry if I was overstepping, but you seemed really upset."

Saying the dreaded _s-word_ nearly kills her, but it is very Payson Keeler.

"I wouldn't say upset," he deflects.

Looking at Nicky now, the way he squares his shoulders and stares down at the ground, Kelly almost doesn't recognize him. He's so guarded, so afraid of getting hurt, especially after the way he opened himself up to the idea of Payson Keeler just to get shot down on Valentine's Day. She wants to tell him that it's her, Kelly – _Parks –_ and he doesn't have to be _like this_. But she knows she can't. Even if she was in her own body, she doesn't know if she could ever beg him to let her in.

"Whatever's going on, you can tell me. We said we'd be friends after the whole post-California…thing, right?" Kelly says. She flashes back to when Nicky had explained the entire "post-California thing" to her. It almost made her gag. "How can we be friends if we don't talk to each other? You don't have to worry. I'll be sure to keep it out of the tabloids."

Nicky laughs at that and strokes his fingers through his dark hair. He hesitates, but Kelly knows he has and probably always will have a weak spot for the blonde gymnast he sees in front of him. It annoys Kelly to no end, but in this moment, she can use that last existing, albeit weak line of trust to her advantage.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" he asks.

_Score_.

"I promise," she says. Again, breaking another Kelly Parker rule. The always irritating _p-word._

"Not even Kaylie and Emily? And especially Lauren?" Nicky asks skeptically.

"Nick—ee, you know I wouldn't do that to you," Kelly says.

"I know," he says, nodding his head. "So…things with Kelly and me are…complicated."

"Complicated?"

"Yes," he replies.

"So something _is_ going on between you two?"

"Yes."

Kelly feels something at his divulgence. She feels this all-encompassing warmth spread all throughout her to the point where she hardly notices the fact that it's below forty-degrees out. Her fingertips are just itching to reach out to him and she just can't seem to stand still any longer. Kelly doesn't know what it is exactly, but she likes it.

"So you're dating?"

"No," Nicky replies. Kelly gives him a look of confusion and he laughs. "See. Complicated."

"So why aren't you dating?" Kelly asks. She feels like she may be pushing it, but she's growing antsy for answers and this might be her only shot to see what he actually feels. "I mean, besides the obvious. She's horrible."

"That she is," Nicky says. He laughs again, but this time it sounds a lot more amused than frustrated. "But she's kind of awesome too. I know you and Kelly and all the other girls from the Rock have your whole rivalry thing going on, but I think Kelly would surprise you. It's just…she isn't known for having the biggest attention span and I'm so bad at this sort of thing like with what happened with you and then Kaylie. I don't know. I…I care about her too much to let it be another thing that falls apart. Does that sound stupid?"

Really, shoving him up against the car and making out with him starts to seem more and more like a legitimate option. He's bumbling and socially stunted, but no one has ever said something like that about her, something so pure, especially behind her back.

"It's not stupid. I think it's sweet," Kelly says.

"Well, thanks," Nicky says awkwardly. He steps away and moves his fingers through his hair even more. "Plus, she's been hanging out with Austin Tucker lately and I don't even know what to think about that."

This time Kelly laughs and Nicky looks over at her questioningly.

"You don't have to worry about Austin," Kelly says.

"And why's that?" Nicky asks.

"Because Austin's in love with me," she says, plastering on a smile.

In an act of quick thinking, Kelly totally just made Payson Keeler her sacrificial lamb. Kelly makes a mental note to figure out something nice for Keeler for Christmas.

"Wow," Nicky says. He looks extremely shocked. "I'm sorry. Was that a joke?"

"Nope," Kelly replies. "You should see him at the Rock. I tell him over and over again that there's the no dating rule and gymnastics comes first with me, but if anything he's persistent."

"But you'd never…with Tucker…right?" Nicky asks. Kelly thinks she just heard his voice actually crack when he asked that. "I mean, he dated Kaylie and you two are best friends…"

Kelly knows she shot herself in the foot with this one and she's seconds away from starting to chew on Payson's nails. Then there's that little voice nagging at her, irritated that he even brought up Kaylie Cruz in the conversation.

Kelly reads Nicky too easily. Payson and Kaylie's friendship is the reason Kaylie passed up on Kaylicky. For Payson to hook up with Tucker, betray the girl code and betray Kaylie, it would look like Austin Tucker is worth losing a friend over and Nicky Russo isn't. Already knowing Nicky's insecurities about Austin Tucker, Kelly inwardly curses. Bringing up the Olympic gold medalist was not the power play she'd been hoping it'd be.

"Of course I wouldn't…with Austin. I mean, it's entertaining, sure, but I'm all about gymnastics. One hundred-percent," Kelly says with a sure nod. Feeling the tension mounting, Kelly pulls the car keys out of her coat pocket, a clear sign that she wants out of this conversation that somehow slipped from her control. Nicky clearly takes the hint and coughs into a closed fist.

"Anyways, I probably told you more than you wanted to hear and wasted enough of your time," Nicky says. "I should get back inside."

"Yeah, I should probably go too," she says. Kelly stops before she yanks the door open and stares over at Nicky. Despite how weird the conversation got, she really doesn't want to be away from him. "Hey Nicky, good luck with Kelly and everything."

"Thanks Pay." Nicky gives her one of his adorable, crooked smiles. "You know, this was really…nice. I'm glad we can still be friends even after everything that happened."

"Me too."

They stare at each other for a little bit and it's obvious that he's debating on whether to go for the hug or not. Kelly just stands there, afraid that if he does hug her, she might not be able to let go. Eventually, Nicky does step up and bring her into his arms for a gentle hug. Kelly rests her hands on his back and shuts her eyes, just enjoying the closeness she's been craving for too long now. For a second, it almost feels real.

When they finally pull away, Nicky gives her a look like he knows something isn't completely right. Seeing this, her thoughts racing, Kelly stumbles back and pops the car door open. Kelly really did try to cover all her bases and she might have slipped up a little towards the end, but he couldn't have figured it out, right?

"Wait…Merry Christmas, Payson," Nicky says as he starts to walk away.

"Merry Christmas," Kelly says and beneath her breath, she whispers, "Nick."

Once she's safely in the car and Nicky is long gone, Kelly starts the engine and heads for her house. It's the frickin' day before Christmas Eve. She's going to figure out a way to get back to her life even if it takes all night.

**

* * *

**A/N: Two more chapters and this fun little project will be complete. Just in time for Christmas. hehe Anyways, I'd like to thank **Romance Novel** for making a super fantastic awesome **icon** for the Creative Dummy author profile. For a festive chuckle, you should click on our profile and check it. It be ridiculously amazing and will guarantee to put you in the Christmas spirit. ;)

xoxo


	9. Hold Tight

-XX-

**My Only Wish**

**Chapter Nine**

When Kelly gets to her house, she parks in the driveway and is annoyed to no end that Payson isn't there. She complains out loud to herself as she walks through the thick, un-shoveled snow. That stupid trick of hiding a house key somewhere in the yard is starting to sound more and more like a good idea. Kelly even entertains the idea of breaking a window when there are headlights in the driveway and it's her car.

The second she gets out of the car, Payson returns Kelly's BlackBerry and she's so happy to be reunited with it that she almost hugs Payson. Yup. The little things like that are red flags that Kelly Parker is losing her mind a little more by the hour. It makes her even more desperate to get back where she belongs.

They go inside and Payson tells her that Austin should be there in a bit. Kelly wants to say something about that, but holds back. Maybe it would be a better idea to not mention how Kelly might have totally told Nicky that Austin is in love with her even if it could one day possibly be true.

Once inside the giant, dark house, Kelly turns up the thermostat and Payson turns on lights, going deeper into the house. After taking off their coats and unzipping boots, the two gymnasts go to the kitchen. Payson and Kelly sit at the dining table on opposite sides from one another and both have their concentration on the tiny screens of their cell phones.

"Everyone is calling me and it kills me that I can't answer," Payson says. She lays her phone down flat on the table and leans back in the tall chair, trying to ignore the way 'home' flashes across the screen as she lets it ring.

"Well, no one is trying to call me. No one at all," Kelly says, carelessly dropping her precious BlackBerry onto the table. She looks at Payson with miserable, tired eyes and a weak laugh that gets stuck in her throat. "Wanna trade?"

Payson actually laughs out loud. Never let it be said Kelly Parker doesn't have a sense of humor.

"If only it were that simple," Payson says. She leans further back in her seat and sees the way her phone continues to vibrate against the table. This time it's Emily. Sent straight to voicemail. "So Nicky called me and he might have heard Austin's voice in the background and completely freaked out and got all overemotional."

"Nick? Overemotional? Interesting. Wish I was me to hear that," Kelly says. Her elbows are on the table and she rests her head in her hands. "Explain something to me, Keeler. I don't get why girls get off on using other guys to make _the guy_ jealous."

"Beats me." Payson shrugs. "I do know that it just goes to show how much Nicky cares about you."

"Yeah, I know," Kelly says softly. "I talked to him too."

"How?" Payson asks. "I had your phone."

"Oh, I did it the old-fashion face-to-face way. No technology necessary. I stopped over at Denver Elite before I came here," Kelly explains. Payson's eyes widen, but Kelly doesn't look too concerned or even attentive, looping blonde strands around her finger.

"As me?"

"Relax, Keeler," Kelly says. "I was all reserved and I didn't swear once. God, I wouldn't be surprised if I got a cavity I was so damn sweet to him when I should have just torn off his shirt right there and did him on the hood of your mom's car."

"Wow, Kelly, I'm so proud of your self-control," Payson says dryly. "So what did you talk about?"

"Nothing."

"Kelly…"

Kelly gets an uncharacteristically timid look on her face as she continues to play with Payson's hair. "Fine. I told him that there were rumors going around about him and the Horrid Kelly Parker and he was guarded and defensive, which is expected, but he didn't deny it either. He…he said that he cares too much for whatever we have to be another thing that falls apart."

Payson sees her expression and she can just tell that, all the sexting and defensive bravado aside, Kelly cares about him too.

"I think you guys are a good match," Payson says boldly.

"Are you kidding?" Kelly asks. She sounds almost angry.

"No," Payson says, obviously thrown off. She thought Kelly would be happy to hear this. "Why would I be kidding?"

"Better question, why are you being supportive?" she asks warily.

"Because I've seen it. Kelly, I've _lived_ it," Payson says. "Granted, it's odd and dysfunctional, sure, but somehow it works for you. So many times during the last couple of days I've felt weird about being around him, like I was intruding on something that's…entirely Nick and Parks. I don't understand it at all, but I think it's good for you. He tries so hard and it killed me having to push him away like that."

"You don't think I know that?" Kelly asks, defensive as always.

"Do you?" Payson counters. "I just don't know if you take your 'friendship' as seriously as he does."

"Of course, I do," she says. Kelly knows she doesn't have anything to prove to Payson Keeler; however, Payson being the only one that really knows about Nick and Kelly, a part of the Denver gymnast wants to make her understand. "You haven't spoken to anyone, your mom, your sister, the Rock girls and aside from the last one, from what I've seen those are healthy relationships. With Nick, I couldn't last a day without texting him. I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I'm not stupid. I know it means something. I never needed a family because I always had Nick."

"And I think he feels the same way about you," Payson says.

"Really?" Kelly asks. This time her voice is softer, looking for some sort of honesty.

Payson nods. "Really."

Though Payson's certain Kelly wouldn't admit to it aloud or even in her most private thoughts, she thinks this is the first time someone has ever talked to Kelly Parker like this. Honest, nonthreatening and real.

"So my family drove you crazy, didn't they?" Payson asks. A lighter change of topic might be a good idea.

"Don't get me wrong. Your family is totally on it and I was practically drowning in all the warm fuzzies, but I don't exactly fit the Keeler mold. It was nice for a while, but like you said, it didn't feel like mine to enjoy," Kelly says. "I just want to go home. Home, home."

Payson smiles. "Sounds like lesson learned."

Kelly smiles and in the sweetest voice possible, she says, "Whatever. Now, give me back my body, you bitch."

Payson laughs. It's times like this where she thinks Kelly Parker isn't _that_ bad.

"Oh! I've got something for you," Kelly says. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a large brown envelope and slides it across the table. "I meant for it to be a Christmas present of sorts, but then I started thinking. I made you promise to respect my friendship and you did that so I'll warn you now, you and Lauren Tanner aren't going to like what's in this envelope."

"What does Lauren have to do with anything?" Payson asks.

"She has everything to do with your life being the way it is," Kelly says.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look, if I told you it would defeat the purpose of the mysterious envelope," Kelly says, slamming her palm against the envelope. "I thought I was doing you a favor by giving this to you, but what you find inside is just going to complicate your life even more. Having lived it, seeing how much everyone cares about you and how uncomplicated your life could be, I figured I'd give you the option instead of throwing it in your face."

Kelly slides the envelope across the table to Payson.

"Thank you, I think," Payson says.

"Just don't say I never did anything for you," Kelly says coolly.

"Alright, well, Austin just texted me. He's waiting out front," Payson explains. "Being the amazing problem solver he is, he suggested stargazing. In theory, if we see a shooting star, close our eyes and wish for our lives back then we can hold our breaths and hopeful it'll works and we'll be back in our bodies before dinner."

"Huh. I never thought of that," Kelly says. "Are you sure Austin Tucker came up with it?"

"I'm as pleasantly surprised as you," Payson says. She takes the crisp envelope off the table and turns to her bag, sticking it inside. Payson can feel Kelly staring at her, tapping her fingernails against the edge of the table.

"He thinks you're hot, you know." Kelly doesn't say it. She _states_ it like it's a _fact_.

Payson instantly blushes and seeing this, Kelly laughs.

"Oh, so we can talk about Nick like it's tacked on a bulletin board, but not Austin?"

"Why would we even talk about Austin?" Payson asks in return. "He's just being helpful."

"Um, yeah, so he can help himself to some Keeler in the future." Kelly laughs. Payson just shoves the envelope deeper into her bag and pulls the strap over her shoulder. "I'm serious! If you wanted it, you could get it. Do you see the way he looks at you? If gave him the opportunity, Austin Tucker would put out on a silver platter."

"But I'd never," Payson says quietly, unable to meet Kelly's gaze. "I wouldn't do that to Kaylie."

"Another reason I don't do the girl friends thing," Kelly says, rolling her eyes. "Plus, Cruz says she's and I quote, 'so done with him', but I think…I think eventually she'd be okay if you did give it a chance with Tucker. Sure, she'd be confused and feel betrayed at first and throw a tantrum like the little brat she is, but…if she really does care about you as much as she tries to make it look like she cares about you then eventually she'd accept it. Just fyi."

"Thank you for the commentary on my life, Kelly," Payson says with a sweet sarcasm.

"Just returning the favor," Kelly says innocently. "God, we so should have videotaped this. I don't think my face has ever made that expression before…or gotten that deep a shade of red."

Payson narrows her eyes. "Can we just go now?"

"Fine. Seriously though, please keep the sexual tension with Tucker to a minimum in the car. It's one of my pet peeves." Kelly's teasing, but she sounds completely serious.

"Kelly, quit it," Payson hisses.

"Simmer down, Keeler," Kelly says. "You gotta admit you do spend a lot of time with him. And I thought I had him buzzing around me a lot when he thought I was you. Apparently you hang out with him even while you're me too. Even Nick noticed. Wow, and I thought Nick and me were bad."

"Well, it's too bad there's a Rock No Dating Rule then, huh?" Payson says.

Kelly rolls her eyes. "No one said anything about_ dating_."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Payson says stubbornly.

"Oh, Keeler, so naïve and entertaining. It's a shame we're never talking again after this."

Kelly walks ahead of her, shrugging on her coat near the door. Payson pauses for a second. She never really thought what would go on after they switch back. Having literally lived her life, Payson has learned so much about Kelly Parker. She's pretty sure the reverse holds true too. So are they supposed to go back to pretending like none of this ever happened? Going back to their respective gyms, on opposite sides of that line drawn deeply down the middle?

Payson doesn't know the answers to those questions and just walks the rest of the way to Austin's car and finds Kelly screaming at him. Apparently, Austin's water bottle spilt all over the front seat and make Kelly look like an idiot calling shotgun. Not having the patience to talk down Kelly, Austin just pushes her towards the door to the backseat so they can go. They drive out to one of the scenic sights and luckily, the sky is mostly clear.

The three sit out on the hood of Austin's car and all their faces are tilted up, looking at the twinkling stars. Payson squirms every time Austin so much as glances at her and noticing this, Kelly knows that it was a wise choice not to mention the other things she talked about with Nicky.

Hours pass and it feels like the temperature drops with every second they're out there. Austin's leg fidgets and Kelly glares at him, ready to chop his leg clean off. Feeling Austin's oblivion and Kelly's irritation, Payson redirects their straying attentions to the sky. Then finally Payson sees the star skirt across the sky and when she hears Kelly gasp, she knows they're looking at the exact one. Quickly, they both shut their eyes tight and make their wishes.

_I wish I were Payson Keeler again._

_I wish I were Kelly Parker again._

They both hold their breaths before slowly opening their eyes.

And they're both disappointed to find nothing happens.

"Fuck!" Kelly shouts immediately. She slides down the hood and starts pacing. She then starts kicking the tire of Austin's car, angrily shaking her fists in the cold night air.

Payson just slumps against the windshield there, feeling devastated. She feels Austin's gloves hand cover hers and squeeze tight. Payson lets herself enjoy the reassuring gesture and the slight comfort it brings her, before she gets back onto her feet and approaches Kelly.

"Kelly, calm down," Payson says. "Remember the first time? We didn't actually switch till we woke up the next morning. Maybe we just need to give it some time…"

"And what if we wake up tomorrow morning and everything is the same? I can't do this!" she screams. "I can't drive back to Boulder, have your mom yell at me and me freeze like a stupid ass deer in the middle of the street and pray I wake up in my bed. What if it didn't work? I can't keep pretending to be you. Keeler, tomorrow morning is Christmas Eve."

"I know," Payson says calmly. She stands in front of Kelly and puts her hand on her shoulder to stop her erratic movement. "I understand better than anyone ever will, but it isn't helping that you're freaking out. I promise that we'll be back where we belong by Christmas."

"How can you make that promise?" Kelly asks accusingly.

"I just can," Payson says. "You trust me, don't you?"

Kelly finally settles and stares at Payson for a long, silent minute.

"Yeah," Kelly says, pushing her fingers through her hair. "Wow. Shit. I actually do."

"Then, come on," Payson says. "Let's go."

"But we need to stop by the closest Starbucks ASAP," Kelly says firmly. "I need a pick-me-up grande peppermint white chocolate mocha stat."

"But the calories," Austin protests.

Kelly and Payson shoot him glares that are so on point it seems almost choreographed.

"Austin, just drive," Payson says.

"Alright, let's leave," he says, walking back around the side of his car. Austin holds the door open for the two girls and they slide in before he shuts the door after them.

"I almost lost my head back then," Kelly says in the quiet of the car.

"And how is that different from every other day when you do that?" Payson asks hesitantly.

"You don't get it," Kelly says, shaking her head. "I have more fingers on one hand than I do people that can talk me down when I get like that…and apparently, you're one."

"Oh," Payson says. "Well then, you're welcome."

Her voice is more affirmative and Payson nods to emphasis her words. Austin slides into the driver seat just in time to hear that last little exchange and he smiles from upfront. Silence returns to the car and Austin turns the key in the ignition, starting up the car.

"You know, you aren't bad, Keeler," Kelly says quietly.

"And you aren't as bad as you want people to think you are," Payson says.

They're all so preoccupied that as the car pulls out of the parking lot and onto the road, they don't see the truck that comes out of nowhere and slams right into them. Tires squeal against the icy roads as the entire car rotates in circles. The windows shatter and shards of glass scattering all around. All Payson remembers is a hand – Kelly's hand – grabbing her forearm tight as the car spins out of control and everything fades to black.

* * *

A/N: And there you have it, one of the two last Christmas presents from me to you. Ahh! Honestly, did anyone expect that? I love love love all the reviews I've gotten recently. Just like you, I'm pretty sad that this fic is ending, but then again, I really should get back to _Life, Love and Denim_. Thank you so much for reading and guiding me along with your input. It's almost Christmas! It's almost Christmas! It's almost Christmas!

xoxo


	10. Merry Christmas!

-XX-

**My Only Wish **

**Chapter Ten **

When Payson wakes up, everything single inch of her body is in pain.

Her vision is blurry as she blinks and the air smells overly sanitary…like a hospital.

It takes another minute, but Payson realizes that she actually is in a hospital, lying in bed with white sheets covering her from the waist down. There's no beeping, no machines surrounding her and no IV stuck into her arm so she can't be in a critical condition like the soreness of her body would suggest. She hears a groan from her side and Payson turns her head very slowly to see another body in the bed beside her.

She sees Kelly still asleep. Her dark hair is sticking up in odd places and her cheek is an ugly, deep shade of purple. Payson also notices the little red scratches right beneath her left eye and on her chin. Just seeing her in such a condition makes Payson wince and wonder what she must look like, taking in the amount of pain she feels right now.

"Kelly," she whispers. Her voice is weak and Payson can't tell if it's from not being used in so long or if there's something seriously wrong with her.

But wait!

If she's looking at Kelly, who's across the room then that means…

Feeling such a sudden sweet revelation, Payson excitedly looks down at her hands. The fingernails have been chewed down to nubs, but they're _her hands_. Never in a million years has Payson felt so happy just at the sight of her hands. She then brings her fingers up to feel her face and then tangle in her hair. _Blonde hair._

She's back in her body.

Wait…if Kelly is in the bed next to her then…

"I've never been so glad to see you, Keeler, and I'm not looking in a mirror," Kelly whispers. Payson quickly looks to her side, but then winces, having turned too fast. Seeing this, Kelly gives her a small smile, leaning back in her hospital bed. "But I must say, you look like shit."

"I could say the same." There's no malice in either of their voices and that makes Payson return the smile with a weak one of her own. "We're back."

"Thank God. I just wish it could have been less painful." Kelly shifts and groans.

Payson bites lightly on her dry bottom lip and continues to stare at Kelly, who lovingly caresses her dark brown tresses and traces down the curves of her cheeks with her fingers. She mentally debates whether or not to mention it for maybe a second before taking a deep breath and going for it.

"You grabbed my arm and held me back," Payson says softly. "In the car."

"Reflex, I assure you," Kelly says quickly.

"I don't believe you," Payson says boldly.

"God, Keeler, I don't care if you don't believe me or not," she says. "I was just protecting my own face and I think it worked because, as I said, you look like shit."

Hearing the jittery defensiveness, Payson smiles. "Thank you."

No sarcasm. Just simple, genuine gratitude.

Kelly nods. "Consider it your Christmas present, Keeler."

Payson reaches her hand out in the space between them and Kelly hesitates for only a second before she slaps her hand against hers in a sort of casual victory celebration.

"Payson Keeler and Kelly Parker," says a man in a white lab coat as he walks into the room. "PK and KP. Hmm, interesting. Anyways, it's good to see you girls finally awake and just in time for Christmas. A couple kids had been driving drunk when they crashed into you. Luckily, nothing is broken, a few bruises and cuts and you might be sore for a couple days, but you'll be just fine. You girls should count your blessings. From what I hear about the condition of the car, it's a Christmas miracle you weren't hurt worse."

"Hear that, Keeler?" Kelly laughs. "A Christmas miracle."

"I heard," Payson says. "Thank you, doctor."

"Now, for the final verdict. We ran some tests and everything looks fine. There's some paperwork I have for the both of you to review and sign. Then you're free to go if you promise to take it easy for the next couple of days. You have visitors, eager to see you," the doctor says. "Should I send them in?"

"Please," Payson says. Her entire face brightens and she sits up straighter in her bed while Kelly just turns onto her side and murmurs something about pain killers. Just before the doctor walks out of the room, Payson stops him. "Wait! What about Austin? Austin Tucker. He was the one driving."

"Oh yeah. Tucker. He's fine," the doctor says. "He didn't get off as easy as you two. He has a few bruised ribs, but it isn't anything serious. He woke up a few hours before ago and we were ready to release him, but he refused."

"Why would he do that?" Payson asks.

"He wasn't very specific and being _the Austin Tucker_, the hospital wouldn't mind letting him stay as long as he wants. I did remind him that it's Christmas Eve, but he said that he doesn't have anywhere else to be," the doctor explains. "Don't feel sorry for him. It's what he wants. I think he's on his third jell-o cup, second sponge bath from the nurses and fifth magazine delivery from the candy stripers."

"Sounds like paradise for a horndog like Austin," Kelly says. Payson doesn't comment and sits back in her inclined bed.

In no time, all three of the Keelers come in and go straight over to Payson's side of the room, followed by a surprise visit from the Rock girls. Kelly just looks away as the cluster of people go over to Payson, inquiring how she is and fretting over her. Kelly almost laughs when she sees the giant bouquet of flowers laced with invisible guilt that Lauren brings along and sets on the table between them.

"Guys, what are you doing here?" Payson asks. "It's Christmas Eve. You should be home with your families."

"Pay, as far as I'm concerned you are family," Kaylie says, standing right at the blonde's beside. "Don't worry. My parents understand. You got into a car accident. Of course, we came to see you."

"My mom's in the gift shop as we speak. Knowing her, she's probably picking out balloons and cards and stuffed toys for you," Emily explains. "You really had us worried, Payson."

"Yup. It was the weirdest way to top off the weirdest week ever," Lauren adds. Her eyes shift across the room for a second before returning to Payson. "What were you doing out in Denver with Austin and, eww, Kelly Parker, anyways?"

"I'm in the room too!" Kelly shouts. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here!"

Everyone looks over at her and the sudden outburst leaves an unsettling silence in its wake. Kelly just huffs loudly and rolls onto her side, ignoring the pain. Anything is better than seeing how they're staring at her like main attraction of a freak show. Payson looks over at Kelly with sympathy. Someone has to be coming for her, right?

"Hello! Earth to Pay," Kaylie sings. "What's been going on lately?"

"I really don't want to talk about any of that right now," Payson says. It's the honest to God truth. "The doctor said I could leave whenever I'm ready. Can we get out of here? I would give anything to lie in my own bed."

"Of course, sweetie," Kim says. She starts to shoo everyone from the room after last minute goodbyes and wishes of Merry Christmas Eve. Once everyone is gone, Kim then helps Payson out of her bed and to the bathroom. While Payson is changing into the spare clothes her mom brought for her, Kim looks over at Kelly who's lying in bed and twiddling her thumbs.

"Hi," Kim says. She walks around Payson's empty bed and closer towards Kelly, who grows alarmed and pushes her back further against the upright bed. "I don't think we've actually met. I'm Kim Keeler, Payson's mom."

It takes Kelly a little bit before she realizes Kim is actually talking to her. Smiling in that maternal way, she holds out her hand. Kelly quickly checks the plastic band on her wrist just to make sure she is who she is before gently taking Kim's hand in a warm shake.

"Kelly Parker," she says. And it feels so damn good.

"How are you feeling?" Kim asks.

"Fine," Kelly replies. "A little sore, but, trust me, I've felt worse."

"That's good to hear," Kim says, continuing to smile warmly. "Kelly, you do have someone coming for you, don't you? Do you need me to make a call for you or you could borrow my phone if you need it."

Kelly doesn't know what to say. She bites the inside of her cheek, going through the short list in her head. Her mom is in Switzerland. Her dad is God-knows-where. She might end up spending her Christmas break in the hospital like Austin is apparently doing. Kelly looks past Kim's concerned face and over to the television in the corner of the room. She wonders if it catches Bravo or at least MTV.

After a minute or so of uneasy silence, Kelly looks to the door and notices the boy panting in the doorway. There's sweat on his forehead and his breathing is slightly labored like he ran all the way to her room. After everything she's been through, the loneliness and longing to see her best friend, Kelly can't even try to hide the look of extremely happiness that overtakes her usually, carefully planned facial expression. Taking note of the way she absolutely lit up, Kim just smiles and gives the two some space.

"Nick!" Kelly shouts, sitting up in her bed.

"Wow, Parks, you actually sound happy to see me," he says. Nicky wears an easy smile as he walks into the room and goes straight to her bedside. As much as it pains her to do so, Kelly scoots a little to the side, leaving a space for Nicky to sit on the edge of the bed.

"What took you so long, asshole?" she says. Despite her malicious words, her soft voice betrays her and a slight, tight-lipped smile is drawn across her lips.

"There's the girl I love to hate," Nicky says. His voice is just as affectionate as hers, completely unfazed by the actual words she said. Nicky gently cups her face with his hand and Kelly leans into his touch, bringing her hand up to cover his.

After a while of the two teens just staring at each other, eye-to-eye, almost having an entirely private and entirely telepathic conversation, Kim interrupts the little reunion to tell them that she's going to find the doctor and get the paperwork processing so they can all get out of there sooner. Before Kim can get far out the door, Kelly is overcome with such a frantic feeling and she calls out to Kim. The woman who served as Kelly's cookie cutter mother for the last few days turns back and looks at Kelly with surprise.

Pursing her lips, Kelly says, "Merry Almost-Christmas, Mrs. Keeler."

Kim smiles in return. "Merry Almost-Christmas to you too, Kelly."

-XX-

As much as Payson longs to lie in her bed, right when she gets home, she can't. There's a very nervous Coach Belov standing on her front porch. Kim greets him warmly, as does Becca, and Mark gives him a wearily, warning glare (something he's been doing ever since the kiss incident). Payson takes a deep breath and approaches Sasha once the rest of the family is already inside.

"Payson, how are you?" Sasha asks.

"Tired and sore, two things I've never admitted to being in my entire life before now, but it's true," Payson says. She fidgets with her fingers and bounces on the balls of her feet. "But I'll live. I'll live and I'll be back in the gym after the holidays."

"To sit around and pout like you've been doing the last few days?" Sasha asks.

Payson inwardly winces. If Kelly hadn't thrown in the little, surprisingly redeeming moments (grabbing her arm during the crash and the "mysterious envelope") Payson would probably be pretty pissed at her.

"No. To train," Payson says. "I know I've been acting…strange. I was going through something, but now I'm over it and I'm ready. I'm ready to get back to work as an artistic gymnast. I know my body and what I need to do to get to where I need to be. Just give me another chance to prove it to you."

Sasha stares at her long and hard. It seems the way she's been behaving, the ups and the downs and then the ups again throw him, and a little part of him is ready to demand the entire truth. Payson doesn't think she has the strength it takes for a complete explanation and so she just rubs her hands down her arms and prays he doesn't push it.

"We have more to talk about once we're back in the gym. Most importantly, your attitude towards training and you're going to have to work extra hard to make up for the time you've wasted the last few days," Sasha says. Payson nods in return. "But I believe you'll be able to do it. You've got what it takes, Payson Keeler, and I don't want to see you doubting yourself like that ever again."

"Done," Payson says. "I really appreciate you coming over, Sasha."

"I'm glad to do it and I'm glad you're okay," he replies. "Well, you better get inside. I'm sure you want to make the most of the rest of your holidays. Rest up and I will see you in the new year."

"Happy holidays, Sasha," Payson says sweetly.

The Rock's head coach steps down the first few steps of the porch and smiles at one of his top gymnasts with a charming smile. "Happy holidays, Payson."

Even after Payson watches Sasha disappear down the street, she stays outside a little longer. She leans against the railing of the porch and takes a deep breath, holding it in for a little bit and then slowly letting it out. Payson has always been a person with a packed schedule, always having something to do, hour-to-hour, day-to-day. She never knew it could feel so good to stand perfectly still and simply be.

It doesn't take long for Kim to shout for her to go inside before she catches a cold. Payson obliges and as tempted, as she is to jump right into bed and sleep until the next morning, Payson goes to take a hot bath. She changes into pajama pants and an oversize shirt, glad to be rid of Kelly Parker's booty shorts and form-fitting tank tops. Finally, after drying her long, blonde hair, Payson settles down in her bed and closes her tired eyes.

As glad as she is to be in her home, snuggling up to a pillow in her bed, there's something wrong. It's too quiet in the house and that alone drives Payson insane. It reminds her too much of Kelly's house and along with it comes the feeling of being so empty and so alone. Payson reaches across to her bedside table and presses the play button on her iPod in its little docking station. The air fills with soft, soothing Christmas music and she settles back in bed. Much better.

"You really scared us," Becca says from the door. "You should have seen mom and dad when we got the call from the emergency room, saying you had gotten into an accident. Mom was freaking out and dad had to clock out early so we could rush to Denver."

"I'm sorry if I worried you." Payson looks over at her sister and smiles softly, matting the side of her bed. "Nothing's broken. That's something to be happy about."

"Yeah, you're really lucky, Payson," she says. Eyeing her suspiciously, the young teen walks into the room and takes the spot Payson had motioned to. Continuing to smile, Payson takes one of the pillows and playfully swats her sister with it.

"Why are you being like this?" Becca asks. She takes the pillow from Payson, considers hitting her back, but then decides against it and hugs the pillow tight to her chest. "You didn't get mad at me for calling you by your name."

Oh Kelly, Payson thinks to herself. Is there anything Kelly didn't mess up?

Then Payson thinks about her friends who are still flocking to her at the first sign of trouble and even Lauren, who's been noticeably nicer to her. Payson thinks about her parents, who seem a bit concerned, but as far as she knows, they haven't disowned her or signed her up for therapy. There's a lot that Kelly could have purposefully ruined, but didn't and for that, Payson's grateful.

"Becca, I'm sorry—"

"You don't need to apologize," Becca says. "I think you did that enough the other night."

Payson looks confused. Kelly Parker _apologized_? That just doesn't sound right.

"Well, you said you didn't mean to hurt my feelings and you kinda talked in circles, but it was as good as an apology," Becca says. She tilts her head, looking at Payson with light eyes that are too much like her own. "You seem different now."

Payson remembers playing this game with Nicky. "Better different or worse different?"

"Like _you_, the real you," Becca says. "I don't really know how to explain it."

"It's okay," Payson says, curling up in bed. "Let's just sleep."

Payson pulls back the covers enough for Becca to crawl in beside her. Having such a warm presence at her side, knowing that she isn't alone, Payson can rest a little easier. She listens to Becca's even breathing and the cheery Christmas music playing softly in the background. Her mind starts to grow foggy and it's the best feeling especially after staying tossing and turning for the last few nights, overthinking and overanalyzing.

"I'm glad you're back, Payson," Becca whispers.

Becca can't know how welcomed those five words are, how amazing it feels to hear them. Payson reaches over to affectionately smooth down her little sister's stray blonde hairs and whisper a simple, "Me too."

-XX-

Both being minors, the hospital wouldn't release Kelly without consent and as expected, she has a bitch fit. She finds out that her father is the Bahamas with his newest wife (and personal assistant) and her mom isn't reachable, but Kelly already knows from Payson that she is too out of the country. Marty, being the closest thing to a guardian she has, drives down to the hospital, contacts her father, achieves consent and takes care of things. He doesn't complain once and in turn Kelly is much more agreeable than she would be under normal pre-Christmas party circumstances.

Once she gets home, Kelly is greeted by the silence of her empty house and nothing has ever sounded so great. No one to bug her or expects things from her or worry about her. Just pure, welcomed silence where she doesn't have to put up a front or wear her day-to-day armor and can simply exist.

First things first, Kelly starts going around the house and rearranging the Christmas decorations until everything is in its proper place. Nicky, who drove her home, assures her that it all looks fine and reminds her that she had been fine with all of it the other day, but Kelly just ignores him. Nicky tells her to take it easy and she tells him to go get the ladder in the shed because a section of the lights that line the outside of the house are crooked. Instead of reacting to the crack of her whip, Nicky just embraces her from behind and it makes Kelly wince, remembering how sore she is.

Hearing that high-pitched, unexpected sound she makes, Nicky loosens his arms, but still keeps them around her. He rests his chin lightly on her shoulder, tilting his head so his dark, prickly hair touches her soft, brown locks. Kelly tenses and holds her breath, almost afraid that the second she lets herself believe this is real she's going to blink and wake up in Payson Keeler's body again.

"Let's go to bed," Nicky whines.

"I just got into a car accident not even a full twenty-four hours ago," Kelly reminds him. "If you think I'm having sex with you, you sex addict, you're delusional. If that's all you're looking for then the door is that way. You can leave now."

Nicky laughs, sounding so low and alluring. They're so close that she feels his hot breath tickly her sensitive skin and she clenches her jaw, fighting off the impulse to shudder. Kelly leans back in his arms until her back meets his firm chest and she shuts her eyes tight. She lets herself get comfortable, her body molded to fit his too fucking well. Kelly brings her arm up around his neck and her fingers slide through the short strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

Fucking car accident. If she wasn't hurting everywhere, they'd both probably be naked by now.

"All I meant is that you should be resting in bed, not rushing around, all neurotic this soon after the car accident," Nicky says.

"I don't appreciate you calling me neurotic," she snaps.

"How else would you describe you, Kelly?" he chuckles. They remain perfectly still, entwined, standing back and admiring the lit Christmas tree in her sitting room. "Come on. Don't make me carry you to your room. I'm not even going to do it bride-style. I'll throw you over my shoulder like a sack and it will not be sexy at all."

"You're so good to me," Kelly says sarcastically. She turns sideward and looks into his eyes, letting her palm rest against his chest. Starting to walk to the stairs, Kelly lets her hand trail across his ribcage and she gives the edge of his thin t-shirt a tug before she lets go. God, it feels so good to be so close to him. If only she could tell him that.

Kelly sluggishly walks up the stairs and goes straight to her room. After grabbing a few things, she goes to the bathroom and starts the shower, letting the heat rise to the ceiling as she stares at her reflection in the mirror over the sink. She slowly gets into the shower and when she gets out, ready to pass out, Kelly finds Nicky lying on her bed, watching Christmas movies on the flat screen. She crawls into bed with him and sighs heavily, basking in the heavenly feel of her down comforter and goose feather pillows.

"What are we watching?" Kelly asks lazily.

"Don't know. I saw snow and so I didn't change the channel," Nicky replies.

Nicky stares at the TV and Kelly stares at him, watching the way the lights from the TV play across his handsome face. All she wants to do is touch him, but she doesn't know where they stand especially after the way Payson and her have been messing with his head. Kelly reaches out and lays her hand on his arm, drawing lazy patterns across his skin with her index finger. When Nicky doesn't even look in her direction, Kelly frowns.

"What's wrong?" she asks. "You're acting like you're the one who just got in a car accident."

Nicky finally looks over at her with a question in his dark gaze. Kelly knows that look and she isn't particularly fond of that look. He's going to want to talk to her and as Kelly has proved over and over again, she isn't very good at deep, meaningful conversation.

"Is it too soon to ask for that explanation you promised?" Nicky asks.

"Nick, I'm Kelly Parker." She laughs softly. "I don't make promises."

"Then I must have been talking to a Kelly Parker clone on the phone the other day because, yeah, you did," Nicky says. "You know, that would actually make sense. You've been weird ever since that Christmas party at the Rock. And now you're hanging out with Austin Tucker? Kelly, you were in a car with Austin Tucker and Payson Keeler when the accident happened. I keep trying to go over it in my head, but I can't come up with a single explanation. What's that about?"

Kelly smiles. "Why? Nick, are you jealous?"

"Should I be?"

"No."

Nicky groans and turns onto his side, propping his head up by his hand. He looks up at the ceiling for a moment before he responds, "I know. I know. I'm not your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean I can't be concerned about my best friend doing something potentially stupid with that douche."

"That and also because there's nothing going on with Austin Tucker. Nothing _at all_," Kelly assures him, reaching out and brushing her fingers through his dark hair. "Nick, I know the last couple of days have been messed up and I…I—I'm sorry—"

"There you go again," Nicky says. "Apologizing. What's with that?"

"Would you just shut the fuck up and let me talk?" Kelly snaps. She looks down, purses her lips and then finally looks back up at him. "I said it because I really do mean it. Because I finally realized how hard you try and how patient you are with me and how easy I could lose you and I don't…I…"

"Hey," he whispers. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, Parks."

At the sound of his voice saying _that_, Kelly feels something that she can't quite describe. All she can think is that she now knows how the Grinch felt when his heart grew.

"You don't know how great it feels to hear you call me that," Kelly whispers.

"Well, it is your name," he says, winking at her. Nicky looks over at the clock and it's nearly midnight. "Hey. You want part one of your Christmas present?"

Kelly hits him weakly on the chest and playfully narrows her eyes. "You giving out kisses as presents stopped being cute by the time we turned ten."

Nicky chuckles. "Not this year. It's more of something I did for you."

"I'm listening," she says.

"I know Jenna and Stephanie have been giving you a hard time lately, but something tells me that's all about to stop," Nicky says. "Milkshake Facing them was clearly out of the question because I'm too much of a gentleman to do something so petty. I wasn't about to do your cricket plan either. Joey, the smooth talker and #1 KP fan he is, actually deserves some of the credit too."

"Aww, Nick made a friend who doesn't have a vagina," Kelly says playfully. "Surprise, surprise."

"Shut up," Nicky says gently, pressing his fingers to her lips to quiet her. "As I was saying, Joey was smoking a bowl with Stephanie and he got her to admit that she's the one who tattled on Jenna. Joey recorded it all on his iPhone and he sent it to me. I showed Jenna and Stephanie got a strawberry milkshake to the face, which we also got on camera. You know how we treat rats. Stephanie is the newest DE social pariah and everyone is calling her Miley Cyrus."

"Do you even get that reference?" Kelly asks.

"Not a clue," Nicky admits.

Kelly just smiles up at him. "Aww, you did that for me?"

"Like I told you, I got your back, Parks," Nicky says. "Always."

This is what they do. It's just another one of their many routines. They pave over the awkward and the tense and the unspoken with sweet little moments just for it all to explode at a later date. Kelly is about to break tradition and she's convinced that it isn't a good idea, but she's right about to do it anyways.

"You want part one of your gift?" she asks.

Nicky looks at her suspiciously. "You actually got me something this year?"

"Nick, I want to be honest with you," she says. Kelly sits up and presses her back to the cold wooden headboard. Seeing the way she turns so serious so suddenly, Nicky does the same, looking genuinely worried.

"That's another first." Nicky laughs nervously. "Alright. Shoot. What's on your mind?"

"I've been acting weird lately because…because it wasn't me," Kelly struggles to explain in her voice, in the words she picks and the way she can't meet his eyes. "It was Payson…in my body. We both made stupid wishes on this shooting star we saw outside the Rock after that dumb ass Christmas party. Then we woke up and somehow switched bodies. Ever since then I've been living Payson's life and she's been living mine. And it was kinda nice, like what our parents should have been like, but it was hell because I…I missed you so much."

Kelly twists the corner of the pillowcase round and round, resisting the urge to start biting off her perfect, manicured fingernails. Kelly is so nervous and Nicky just stares at her, looking stunned.

"Nick, say something," Kelly demands.

"Well, that explains why you've been so nice lately," he says, smoothing his fingers through his messy hair. By his smile, it's obvious he isn't taking her seriously at all. "Kelly Parker, you are _crazy_."

"No. No, I'm not," she says irritably. "Nick, think about this. You were talking to _me_ in the parking lot at DE last night. I looked like Payson and sounded like her. Hell, I even tried to be her at one point, but that was all me on the inside." She squeezes his hand and looks into his eyes. "I—I feel the same way. I care way too much about you…to let it be something else that falls apart."

Nicky's eyes go wider than she's ever seen before. "Where did you…you're telling the truth, aren't you?"

"For God's sake, yes," Kelly says.

"Wait, let me get this straight. So the weird girl I've been hanging out with all week was Payson Keeler?" Nicky asks.

"Yes," Kelly says. "I know this sounds frickin' insane, but it's true. It was Payson hanging out with Austin and pushing you away because she didn't get us and what we do. God, it almost killed me, not telling you about all of this. Heh, it's kinda killing me now…telling you all of this. I know I have…issues or whatever with opening up and frickin' professional therapy couldn't even help me, but…if there's someone I want to be honest with…it's you."

Her heart beats so hard in her chest. This is the stuff she goes to bed thinking about every night. Never in a million years did she ever think she'd be telling him all of this aloud. Crap. She did learn something from this Christmas wish thing.

"Wow," Nicky says. "So why didn't you tell me any of this sooner?"

"Because."

"Because?"

Kelly takes a deep breath. "Because I thought if you knew it was Payson in my body then spending time with her would lead to you having feelings for her again and not only would that mess things up between all of us, but it would be seriously creepy. I just…I was scared of losing you. I'm _always_ terrified of losing you."

"Parks," Nicky whispers. He brings his hand up to her face, lightly running his thumb down the bruised side of her face. "Like I said, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just upset you had to go through all of this alone."

"I wasn't alone," Kelly disagrees. "I had…Payson."

"Wow," Nicky says. "Kelly made a friend who isn't having sex with her."

"Shut up," Kelly says, shoving him away. She can see how frustrated Nicky is, how he desperately wants to mess up her hair or hold her close, but can't, knowing she's still bruised and tender. Kelly sticks her tongue out at him and lies back down beneath the sheets.

"Kelly," Nicky whispers, shuffling closer to her. "Kelly Parker, I still think you're crazy, but I appreciate you being honest with me. Best Christmas present ever."

"Shh, Nick, I'm trying to sleep," Kelly says, turning over to hide her smile.

"Alright. Fine," Nicky says. "I hope you don't mind, but I'm not sleeping in jeans."

"Whatever," Kelly says, snuggling up to her pillow. "Just don't try to rape me in my sleep."

"Funny," Nicky says, tossing his jeans onto the floor. "Usually it's me saying that to you."

Kelly turns back and slaps his arm. Nicky catches her hand, pressing a sweet kiss to the back of it. Kelly then closes her eyes, finally thinking she's ready to sleep, being home and having abandoned at least a few pieces of that baggage she's carried around for as long as she can remember.

Innocent has never been a word used to describe the way Nicky and Kelly operate yet here they are, mostly clothed, barely touching and completely content. They aren't ravaging each other like they'd usually be doing and instead have talked more about feelings and truths than either ever has in a given instance.

Maybe this is the birth of a new tradition.

-XX-

Payson sleeps through the night and is woken by Becca jumping on her bed, exclaiming that it's Christmas at the top of her lungs. Becca jumps to the ground runs off, still in her Christmas patterned pajamas. Payson quickly throws something on before she joins the rest of the family downstairs. They exchange "Merry Christmas" and trade hugs while Becca excitedly begs to start opening gifts.

Kim warns her that they need to eat breakfast first like tradition dictates and they do so. Then they go to church and Becca is extra impatient but does not voice it once. Finally, they get home and rush to the tree. Tearing through rapper after rapper, Becca looks so ecstatic as she expresses her admiration for one gift before moving to the next. Payson even opens a few, but then she's struck with terror, realizing she had been so preoccupied that she never got to finish her shopping.

"Look, mom, this one's for you from Payson," Becca says, grabbing a gift from under the tree. Payson's eyes widen and her jaw literally dropped. She gave up on believing in Santa quite some time ago, but then how did this happen? Becca maybe. Her dad? Neither seems very likely.

"Well, it's good to see that you got some shopping done during your little breakdown, I mean, _break_ from gymnastics," Kim teases. She pulls the neatly wrapped box into her lap and starts tearing through the red, sparkly paper, getting to the present within.

"Don't worry. I'm over it. Austin and Kelly really put things into perspective for me," Payson says. Kim stops unwrapping her gift and loves over at Payson, prompting her to continue. "I was feeling down on myself and it was stupid. It won't happen again I promise. I even cleared things up with Sasha. The real me is back and here to stay."

"That's good for you, Pay," Kim says proudly. She lets the wrapper fall to the mountain of other torn red, gold and green paper on the floor. Kim uncovers the box and a smile lights her face. From the box, she pulls forth a beautiful, well-crafted scarf and drapes it around her neck. "This is great, Payson."

"That's what I was telling you about, mom," Becca says. "Payson made it herself."

_I did?_ Payson asks herself. It has to be Kelly.

Kim stands from the couch and goes to hug Payson who just plasters on a grin and hugs her in return. Suddenly the doorbell rings and Mark stands, smoothing down the creases in his sweater. He goes to answer the door while Kim continues to hug her eldest daughter.

"Thank you. When did you possibly have time to learn how to knit and why didn't I know about this?" Kim asks.

Payson shrugs her shoulders, having no idea how to answer this one; however, it's nice to see how happy it makes her mom. Saving her from answering, Mark calls out to Payson, saying she has a visitor. Kim wonders aloud, asking who could possibly be here on Christmas day, but Payson just pulls away from her mom's embrace and goes to the door.

Standing out on the front porch, making small talk (more like smooching) with her father is Austin Tucker. He has a gash above his right eyebrow that looks like it needed stitches and a bruise under his chin. When Payson steps out onto the front porch, Mark goes inside and leaves the two standing there. Despite the cold temperature, the sun is out, filtering through the clouds and bathing everything in a golden light.

"Cute sweater, Keeler," Austin says. Payson looks down and remembers how she had unwrapped a gift from her grandmother, a baggy, blue sweater with reindeer and actual bells attached. She had groaned aloud and Kim had suggested she try it on. Now, with Austin grinning at her like that, Payson just embarrassedly crosses her arms over her chest,

"It was a gift from my grandma. She isn't all there anymore. Last Christmas she sent Becca chew toys and a new dog collar," Payson says. When she hears her own words, she knows she isn't making things any better for herself. She looks down, irritated that she can feel her face growing hot.

"I didn't say anything bad about it," Austin says. "It's cute."

"Austin, what are you doing here?" Payson asks.

"For one, I came to check if things are back to the way they should be," he says. Austin leans in close and scrutinizes her with his dark gaze. "You are Payson Keeler, aren't you?"

"Yes, it's me," she says.

"Good. Now, I went to check out my car in impound and I found this," Austin says. He has Payson's bag hanging from his fingers and Payson immediately notices the envelope Kelly had given her even as Austin holds up a cell phone with a cracked glass screen. "I hope you have insurance."

"Thank God I do," Payson says. She reaches out for the bag and Austin gives it to her. As she rifles through the things inside, Payson asks, "Impound was open on Christmas, huh?"

"Okay so maybe I hopped a fence, which I don't advise if you have some bruised ribs and I went on a self-guided tour," Austin confesses. "I've barely had that car for five months. I _had_ to check on it. Little did I know seeing my car like that would kill the Christmas spirit?"

"So would spending Christmas Eve in the hospital," Payson adds. "I'm sorry about your car."

"Heh. The Payson from the other day would have had no sympathy whatsoever for my car or me. Damn. You really are Payson Keeler," Austin says. "So how does it feel to be back?"

"Amazing," Payson says with a big smile.

"Well, I'm glad," he says. "Whether it was my brilliant stargazing idea or the car accident that switched you back, I'm happy it worked and right in time for Christmas."

"Yeah, me too," Payson says distractedly.

Both her eyes and her fingers rest on the envelope sticking out of her bag. Kelly had referred to it as a Christmas present and it is Christmas so Payson should open it, right? Then again, Kelly had also warned her that this envelope is like Pandora's box. It contains evils that will definitely complicate her life and has something to do with Lauren. With how Lauren had been acting at the hospital, Payson can't help, but wonder what Kelly managed to dig up.

"What's that?" Austin asks, sensing her apprehension.

"Nothing," Payson replies. She just shoves the envelope deeper into her bag.

Maybe one day she'll open it and find out what evils it contains, but not today. Not Christmas.

"Well, thank you for bringing me my things. I should probably go back inside," Payson says, letting her voice trail off.

She watches as Austin gives her one last smile before he starts to walk away. Payson really does sympathize with him, but then she thinks of Kaylie and how getting close to her ex wouldn't be in anyone's best interest. Then again, Payson remembers that talk she had with Kelly about braving the storm and acceptance eventually springing forth. Payson doesn't know what she feels for Austin Tucker, but she feels something and that's enough to make her at least wonder what could come about from these said feelings.

Payson doesn't know what takes over, but she finds herself following after him. "Austin, wait! Where are you headed?"

He looks at her from over his shoulder. "I found some of Kelly's things in the car too. I thought I'd drive out to Denver and return them to her. Then home, I guess."

"Errands on Christmas? Really?" Payson says. She stares down at the icy steps and awkwardly shuffles her feet. "I bet you have some model waiting on your couch, dressed like a present, waiting for you to unwrap her, right?"

"Empty couch," Austin says. "Empty fridge. Empty Austin."

He tries to laugh it off, but hearing that makes Payson frown.

"Why don't you come inside and have Christmas with me and my family?" Payson suggests. "We just finished up opening presents. Usually my sister and me help our mom with the food while dad catches whatever game is on TV. It isn't very exciting, but it isn't empty and, yes, this is an invitation."

"I don't know about that one, Keeler," Austin says. She thinks it's the first time she's ever seen him nervous about something. "I kind of am the guy who was driving when you ended up in the hospital."

"It wasn't your fault some idiot was driving drunk. Plus, like you said, the stargazing was your idea and if it was the car accident and switched us back then it never would have happened without you. Come on, Tucker, it's Christmas. No one should be alone. You can give Kelly her things back later tonight or tomorrow."

Payson still sees him hesitate.

"You know, my mom puts peppermint in the hot chocolate. She calls it her secret weapon," Payson says tauntingly. "It's really good."

"Peppermint? I don't think I've ever had peppermint in my hot chocolate," Austin says, smiling.

"Well, there's always a first for everything."

"Alright."

Austin walks back up the steps to meet her and before walking inside, before she loses her nerve, Payson stands on the tips of her toes and presses a kiss to his cheek. It only lasts a few seconds and is over before Austin even realizes what's going on. Payson's hands are clammy and her face is red as she searches his face. He just grins in return.

"What was that for?" Austin asks.

"A thank you," Payson says. "For everything."

"Well then, maybe we should do it right," he whispers. He wraps an arm around her hips and pulls her close to him. He moves so fast and so suddenly that Payson gasps. He leans down as if to kiss her and Payson smiles when she pulls away.

"Whoa, slow down," she says. "Maybe next Christmas?"

Austin sighs dejectedly. "But that's _so long_. Fine. Then we'll do it right right. I won't even kiss you on the first date."

Payson laughs and tugs on his hand. "Come on."

Following behind her, Austin asks, "So this counts as the first date, right?"

Payson just rolls her eyes and closes the door behind them, hoping introducing her family to Austin on Christmas won't be as potentially horrible as she thinks it might be. Then again, if the Keelers can survive living with Kelly Parker then they can probably survive anything.

-XX-

Kelly doesn't wake up in the same position she'd fallen asleep in.

When her eyes flutter open on Christmas morning, Kelly's head isn't on her pillow anymore, but Nicky's warm chest. He's still asleep with his arm protectively around her and their legs tangled in the sheets. Kelly snuggles closer to him and Nicky reacts by tightening his arm around her. It makes her smile. It feels so fucking good to be home.

She remains still in Nicky's arms for a few more minutes, just enjoying their closeness, but then she slowly gets up and out of bed. Nicky just groans and pulls the sheets tightly up and over his shoulders. She gets ready for the day, choosing an outfit, flat ironing her hair and carefully applying makeup. When she returns to her room, she sees that Nicky is gone, but the tantalizing scent of pancakes hangs in the air.

Kelly makes her way down the staircase and to the kitchen. There she finds Nicky standing in front of the stove, flipping pancakes with a spatula in one hand and the handle of the frying pan in the other. Kelly goes to sit at the counter and watches him cook like he deserves a reality television show on Food Network or some shit.

They eat (Christmas is the only time the two of them allow themselves to go slightly above their usual calorie intake) sitting in front of the fire that Nicky builds himself. They then exchange gifts and Kelly unwraps a DVD copy of Stephanie high as a cloud, confessing her sins to Joey of all people and getting a milk shake thrown in her face by Jenna. Nicky unwraps his from Kelly and finds a knitted hat so he can "hide that hideous haircut _thing_" and a Kelly Parker issued Get Out of Being Bitched At card that she doodled on the back of a Subway napkin.

Then the two then settle around the flat screen and watch the DVD he made for her over and over again. By the time they lose count of how many times they watch it, Kelly turns to Nicky and unexpectedly suggests that they go ice-skating. His eyes grow wide before narrowing doubtfully.

"Come again?"

"Nick, you know I hate repeating myself."

"No, I heard you say ice-skating, but…seriously?" he says. "Kelly, you suck at ice-skating."

"I know that. You know that. Keeler now knows it with all the bruises on her legs from every time I fell and ate ice," Kelly says. She leans over until her head meets his shoulder and looks up at him with her big brown eyes. "But I want to."

"Fine," Nicky says. "Let's go."

"And you have to wear your hat," Kelly says. She takes the red knitted hat and pulls it down over Nicky's face, covering his eyes. She really had considered putting a round, puffy ball atop to make it seem like a Santa hat, but that would give him an excuse to not wear it other than Christmas time. And Kelly spent too damn long making sure it was perfect for him to only wear it once.

The two then spend the day at the Golden Gate Canyon State Parker at one of the many frozen ponds. As expected, Kelly falls on her ass more often than not and Nicky teases her and skates circles around her before he helps her up and actually tries to teach her how to ice-skate. When that doesn't work, they decide to call it a day. On the drive, Nicky asks more questions about the Christmas wish and Kelly tries to explain to the best of her abilities. It scares her a little, how much he cares, but deep down, more than anything, she's thrilled he does.

Stomping up the front steps leading to the door of the Parker house, Kelly finds her bag and a note on the door. It's apparently Austin and Payson returning a few of the things Kelly had misplaced during all the craziness of the car crash. Kelly looks around, but the only person there is Nicky, following her up the steps and to the front door.

"Hey Parker," Nicky reads the note from over her shoulder. "Look up."

Kelly looks up and pinned above the doorway is hanging mistletoe. She looks back over at Nicky who just smiles and moves closer towards her. He brings his hand to the base of her skull, fingers tangled in her glossy brown hair. He tilts his face just right and leans in until their lips brush, something so simple yet so affectionate at the same time.

He pulls away, but then he feels Kelly bounce up on the tip of her toes and bring her arms around his shoulders to crush her lips against his. Their teeth almost clash hard enough to make her wince and regret the impulse, but then she tastes him, feels him relax into her and she has no idea why they didn't do this last night. Nicky deepens the kiss, pressing his body flush up against hers and Kelly feels her heart rate spike as a shiver travels through her entire body and sultry moan vibrates at the base of her throat.

If she weren't Kelly Parker, she'd probably remind herself to text Keeler thanks for all this.

When they finally pull apart, Nicky breathlessly murmurs, "I'm glad you're really back."

He then gives Kelly a knowing grin and it makes her beam in return.

"Yeah," Kelly says softly. Her heart is beating so hard she can feel it in her ears and she fists Nicky's coat with both hands just incase her knees decide to betray her and turn to jelly like they almost did during that kiss. "Get used to it, Nick."

Nicky chuckles. "I wouldn't want it any other way, Parks."

Right when Kelly starts to unlock the front door, her phone buzzes and effectively steals her attention. Nicky takes her keys and goes to work on the door while Kelly focuses on her BlackBerry that's in surprisingly good condition. It turns out to be a text from Austin Tucker.

_Merry Christmas, Kelly. - Payson_

Smiling to herself, Kelly thumbs back a reply.

_Merry Christmas, Keeler. _

_THE END_

_

* * *

_

A/N: And there you have it, lovers and friends! Just in time for Christmas! I want to thank everyone who has been along for this journey. I had the greatest time coming up with the concept and the sequence of events and getting it all done on time. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! You guys have been a pleasure to write for. Now it's about time I take off this Santa hat and slip back into a pair of jeans…after I celebrate with presents, wine and pie first.

Last time to review this story. Make it count! Have a great one everyone!

xoxo


End file.
